


Birdland

by Ischa



Series: Birdland [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman (Movies - Nolan), Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Birds, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Kidnapping, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Sexual Content, Threesome, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 16:11:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 29
Words: 35,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ischa/pseuds/Ischa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the Robins are birds...or bird-people and Bruce is still Batman. </p><p>  <i>“He's crazy,” Jason says. </i><br/><i>John blinks the sleep from his eyes. “What?” It's pitch-black outside. John doesn't even want to know how late it is, but his internal clock tells him anyway.</i><br/><i>“I followed him and he puts on this scary looking costume and goes out and beats up people,” Jason says, but he sounds a bit awed, a bit surprised, a bit...well in love maybe. If not with Bruce, then the idea of him being, well...”Like a bird of prey.” Jason finishes.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by Icalynn.  
> Inspired by a conversation with saeadame over at tdkr kink meme.  
> Original artwork by [agathexu](http://agathexu.deviantart.com/art/ROBINS-FAMILY-OF-WAYNE-343921192). Used and changed (by Icalynn) with permission

 

****

**Part One:**

 

**~one~**  
John knows Jason didn't mean to, or, well maybe in that moment he meant to. Jason always plays dirty and he has a bad temper. And he knows John can take it – not that Tim can't – but Jason is always a bit more careful with Tim. Now.

So, John knows Jason didn't mean to. He looks up at their nest. It seems awfully far away and it wouldn't be a problem, usually that is, but the sharp pain in his wing tells him it's broken.  
Suddenly John feels really small and helpless and he hates feeling helpless. He wants to scream at Jason, but that wouldn't help right now and besides all he can manage is a sob.

“John,” Dick says, landing beside him.

“It's broken,” John answers, because there’s no point in not telling Dick. He can't fly up. He's stuck here. There's no way – to get home. He will be easy prey for cats and cruel children. His mom used to tell him stories about evil human children. And it's not like John hasn't seen dead birds everywhere. Mostly, and John knows that, it's just human carelessness.

Dick breathes in sharply. “John-”

“I know,” John interrupts. “Jason didn't mean to. I just landed really unlucky.” Which is true. John knows, and Dick knows it too, that Jason would never harm them. Not with intent.

“I'll figure something out, John,” Dick says. He looks worried as hell, but tries not to show it. John knows him. Dick always feels really responsible for all of them. Even for Jason, and Jason can take care of himself. He once attacked a cat for god's sake. John had been really scared back then, like he is now. A broken wing is pretty much a death sentence. Not that Dick is going to admit to that. Losing your parents as a fledgling is a death sentence too and Dick survived it. Help them survive it too.

“Dick-” John starts.

“You're going to hide in the bushes over there, I'm going to ruffle Jason's fucking feathers and then we'll figure out how to get you up there, so you'll be save,” Dick cuts in sharply.

John nods. He knows Dick will try, but he also knows that if his wing doesn't magically heal the right way he won't ever be able to fly again and – he takes a deep breath. Not the time to wallow in sorrow and misery.

Dick rubs his head against John's good wing and flies away. John watches mesmerized. Dick is the most beautiful when he's flying. It seems so effortless – though John knows they were born to do this, it seems like Dick is still a special case. He looks away as Dick disappears in the thick leaves of the tree they call their home and hops over to the bushes to hide – and wait for something awful to find and kill him.

~+~  
John wakes because Dick's voice is a loud chirping above him. And Jason is flying circles around his position. His feathers look ruffled and John knows he's beaten himself up about this. John doesn't blame him for this, it was an accident. He looks up and then listens.  
There are humans close by. Children, if John is hearing them correctly. He shivers. Jason looks like he's ready to attack them should they come any closer to where John is hiding. John feels his heart swell and contract painfully. He loves Jason and he doesn't want him to get hurt.

“Don't!” He screams and Jason gives him a look over his wing. He's mad at John, John realises just as shadows start looming over him. He just stupidly gave away his position, but there is no need for both of them to get hurt. Hands reach for him, squeezing his bad wing and his ribcage; he is going to be crushed.

“What do you have there?” A voice asks.

John makes a noise (high and panicked) and Jason darts down, his beak sharp and deadly, John sees blood on the child's hand and the pressure around his ribs is gone. He's falling, trying to spread his wings, but it's no use. He's not high enough and his wing is broken. Jason keeps attacking the children and there is screaming and blood. John's heart is racing.  
He's caught just before he hits the ground.

“It bit me, it bit me!” One of the children screams.

“Are you okay?” The man asks and John really isn't sure if he's asking the kid or John. John's shivering in the big hand, but he's hold gently, and he could jump down any moment. The problem is John has nowhere to go.

“It bit me,” the kid sobs.

“Alfred is going to look at that, just go to the car, your mother should be there,” the man says and he doesn't look away from John. The man waits until the children are gone and then looks up at Jason. “Looks like someone is very fond of you, little one,” he says and his voice sounds soft. And yearning. John takes a shaky breath. Jason is still hovering above them. “I'm going to take you home and look at that. You'll be fine,” he says and cradles John in his big hand carefully.

He knows Jason will follow the car and report back to Dick.

~+~  
John is still terrified. He can't see through the windows of the car, they're too dark, and everything smells and feels strange. The man is absolutely silent. There are no children. John doesn't think the man has children. At least they weren't there when the man got to the car.  
John can't stop shivering. The man still holds him very gently, and John knows he could just hop down and explore or whatever, but he is a bit afraid.  
He's never been so close to a human being.  
He makes a sound when the car stops and the man gets out of it, mindful of John and his broken wing.

“Alfred,” the man says.

“Yes, master Bruce?” Alfred answers.

“We need a vet.”

“For the bird,” Alfred says.

The man, Bruce, nods. “Yes, for the bird.” And he looks down at John and there is something in his eyes John can't quite place. Like maybe he knows. The thought alone terrifies John beyond anything.

“It's a robin, Master Bruce,” Alfred says walking away from the car towards the big house.

“Stating the obvious, Alfred?” he asks and John sees Alfred smile. “Robin, hmm? Should I call you that?” Bruce wants to know.

John shakes his head and then ducks it. He didn't mean to. It's dangerous to even imply he understands humans. Bruce smiles.  
“It'll be alright,” he says again and John really wants to believe him.


	2. Chapter 2

**~two~**  
Jason is sitting on the railing of the balcony. The doors are wide open. John can feel the soft warm breeze. Can hear the wind in the leaves and he's yearning to be outside and fly. Play.  
Jason is watching and waiting for Bruce to leave the room. Bruce always comes to see how John is doing. He was there for the last four days without fail and the windows to the balcony are always open. Day and night. John doesn't think Bruce wants to keep him, to imprison him. He hasn't even seen a birdcage. 

Jason flies inside as soon as Bruce is gone.   
He doesn't say he's sorry. He didn't the first day and he doesn't have to with John anyway. John knows he's sorry. 

“Tim is asking about you and the house. He thinks it's exciting,” Jason says. 

He always flies back home when it gets dark. He wouldn't, John knows, if it weren't for Tim. Tim worries. Worries a lot, maybe even more than Dick, but Tim is good in not showing it at all.   
John has the insane urge to tell Jason he should bring Tim the next time he visits, but he doesn't. He still can't be sure what Bruce wants. Just because he isn't in a cage...well, John has no idea.   
“It's big, there is a lot of ground,” John replies carefully. He misses his family. 

“How's the wing?” Jason asks and it's the first time he asks that question. 

“It's going to heal. Clean break.” 

Jason nods. Once, sharply, relieved. “Dick is thinking about moving out here, for a while. Until you're okay again.” 

“You don't think it's a good idea,” John says. 

“There are less humans here than at the park,” Jason admits. 

“But you don't trust Bruce,” John replies. 

Jason looks at him sharply. “Do you?” 

John shrugs with one wing. It probably looks awkward as hell. “He didn't do anything to earn my mistrust.” 

“He's an important man. In their world,” Jason says.   
Jason always says 'their world' like they aren't a part of it. And if it were up to Jason, John knows, they would move somewhere where there are no people. But in this time there aren't many places with no people, with no human pollution. So they make a home where they can. John thinks the Wayne grounds could be safe. They are big enough and the only people he's ever seen here are Bruce and Alfred.   
John isn't going to argue with Jason that they are part of this world too. Jason has a deep mistrust against humans and he has every right to mistrust them. John is just sometimes afraid it will turn to hate all too soon. How he attacked the kids was really vicious. Jason seems always one step away from falling into an abyss. 

“He likes to be left alone. Look around you. Did you see any humans on the grounds, except Bruce and Alfred?” 

“No, and that is why Dick thinks this is a good idea,” Jason bites out. 

Ultimately it's Dick's call, John knows and Jason doesn't like it much. Never really did. He thinks Dick is too soft. Sometimes. But he also knows that Dick cares beyond what is reasonable.   
“What does Tim think?” 

“That we don't have enough intel,” Jason answers and rolls his eyes. Real birds don't do that, John thinks. But he loves the expression on Jason's face when he does. 

“Of course,” John says and there is a warm smile in his voice. “I miss you.” 

“They miss you too,” Jason says and it's just so Jason to not include himself in that, even if he is here every day from dawn to nightfall. 

“My wing is cold,” John says.   
Jason looks at him sharply and John expects him to call John a liar, but he just flies over and settles down next to John, John snuggles into Jason's warmth, closes his eyes. “Thank you.” 

“Shut up and heal faster,” Jason snaps. 

John snuggles a bit closer still and Jason takes him under his wing. John falls asleep like that with Jason's heart close to his. 

~+~  
Jason doesn't take his eyes off Bruce the whole time he's with John. John feels safe knowing Jason is there. Sitting on the railing and watching. 

“This bird, Master Bruce,” Alfred says. 

“Yes?” 

“It's unnerving how still it is,” Alfred replies with a look in Jason's direction. Alfred is cleaning out the wooden box John is sleeping, living in, and refilling his water and food. John's shared that food with Jason, because Jason insisted on tasting it first. 

“Family is insistent,” Bruce says. 

Alfred gives Bruce a long suffering look, but keeps quiet. He finishes cleaning and leaves. “Coffee will be right up, sir.” 

“Thank you Alfred.” 

John is watching Bruce as he sits down in a chair and takes out a book. “I bet you're bored out of your mind. Being here alone day and night,” he says. 

Jason flaps his wings angrily. John ducks his head to hide the amusement in his eyes. 

“Ah, of course. Maybe I'm disturbing?” 

Jason makes a noise. An angry chirp that could be called a snort. 

Bruce smiles. 

~+~  
Bruce waits until Jason flies away and comes back to the room he's given John. He sits down in the chair and looks at John very hard. 

“I've heard about you while I was...away,” Bruce says. 

John's heart beats really fast in his chest. He doesn't know if he should be afraid or not. People are strange, they can be kind and then they can turn around and betray you without a second thought for money. But Bruce Wayne doesn't need money.   
John has no idea what Bruce Wayne needs, but he would like to give Wayne something. 

“I won't keep you here,” Bruce continues. “You are perfectly safe.” And then he leans back in the chair and starts reading out loud. 

John listens. 

~+~  
Dick moves their home to the grounds of Wayne Manor exactly eleven days after John broke his wing. It's not really a move, it's more like a rebuild. The nest isn't too close to the house, but John can hear them chirping nevertheless and he feels so much better.   
Jason still keeps his watch on the railing and one day, not long after Dick moves them, Tim hops into the room and snuggles close to John.   
Alfred sighs beside them and Tim glares at him. John puts a wing around Tim and let's Alfred dust the shelves. He's got used to it. But John still thinks Alfred will never really get used to John being here and now with his family moving in, Alfred will probably have a really hard time. 

“Twigs,” Alfred says, accusatory. 

“We've been playing outside,” Tim chirps. 

John looks over at Jason and yeah, Jason's feathers are ruffled and a bit wet. “In the pool?” 

Tim nods. “I like it here,” Tim says. “It's peaceful.” 

John thinks that too.


	3. Chapter 3

**~three~**  
It's late and John feels content and Bruce is reading a John Sinclair novel again and John really doesn't like it. It's boring as hell. All this is no excuse. 

“It's boring,” he says. It just slips out. He wants to bite his tongue, but well...he's a bird. 

“Really? I thought it was rather intriguing,” Bruce replies without even batting an eyelash that his bird is speaking. 

“The ones with the witches were good,” John says. 

“Ah...well. I think I have another one from the same author, about singers.” 

John looks at him sceptically. Bruce smiles. “There is drama and murder and all kinds of backstabbing,” he promises. “It's set in Venice.” 

“We can try that,” John says. 

~+~  
“You did what?” Jason screams. He looks really scary like that. 

“It slipped out and-” he bites the rest back, because telling Jason that Bruce Wayne already knew they were bird-people wouldn't go over very well. He's sure of that. Jason might be tempted to murder Wayne in his sleep. Or die trying. 

“It slipped out,” Jason repeats. 

John nods and wants to beg Jason not to tell Dick, but that would be stupid. Dick needs to know these things. And besides Bruce didn't do anything about it. He is still the same. The windows are still open.  
“Tim likes it here,” he says instead. 

Jason glares. “I'll have to speak with Dick about this. You know that. You -” he doesn't finish, because John knows that he endangered them all. 

But he feels like he knows Bruce. Deep down in his guts where it counts and in the rhythm of his heart too. It's hard to explain, especially to Jason. Dick might understand, because Dick grew up with his parents. Had them and their stories, stories of their people, for a while until they were killed.  
“I know,” John says and he doesn't say he's sorry, because he isn't and Jason would know. 

Jason huffs, paces around in front of John's box and then flies up to the railing. He looks at John and John nods and watches Jason fly to their nest. 

~+~  
“You're awfully silent tonight,” Bruce says. 

“I shouldn't have said anything in the first place.”

“Because it's not safe to let people know who you are,” Bruce says and it's not a question at all. Bruce just gets it. 

John nods anyway. “Maybe Jason will convince Dick to move away again. And...” 

“You like it here,” Bruce finishes.

“Yes. It's peaceful,” John admits. 

“Jason, he's the one who sits on the railing every day, isn't he?” Bruce asks. 

John looks at him sharply. “Yeah...” he says carefully. 

“He really cares about you,” Bruce replies. 

They all do, John thinks. They're family. Not by blood maybe, but they are family and they are all they have left.  
“Alfred cares about you,” John says. 

Bruce smiles. “I suppose he does.” 

“What happened to you parents?” John asks. 

“They were killed,” Bruce answers and his voice sounds hard. John can sympathize. His parents were killed too, so were Dick's. They are all orphans here. 

“And now you're alone here,” John says softly. 

Bruce looks at him. “You're here.” 

Yeah, John thinks, but not much longer. He will go back to his family as soon as his wing is healed. Bruce has to know that. 

~+~  
“So,” Dick says. 

“I'm...” he is still not sorry. “I can't explain it. Dick. I just trust him. He doesn't want to do us any harm.” 

Dick nods. “I don't think he will hurt you or us, John, but Jason is still angry.” 

“Jason is always angry, Dick,” John says softly. 

“I know,” Dick whispers, snuggling into John's warmth. Dick always loves to cuddle. He still loves the warmth of another body. Relishes it. Dick should never, could never, be alone, John thinks. 

“We can build a home here. You know it. We can be just us here. Without the need to hide.” 

“I know,” Dick says. “You like him, hmm?” 

“Bruce?” John asks. 

“Yeah,” Dick answers. There is a laugh in his voice. Warm and comforting. 

“Yeah, I do. I feel like I know him,” John admits. 

“Ah...” Dick says and nothing more and John doesn't ask what it means because deep down he knows. Doesn't want to believe it, but he knows it anyway and when, if, Bruce should feel the same one day, well... But John is still just a little bird. 

~+~  
“He's crazy,” Jason says. 

John blinks the sleep from his eyes. “What?” It's pitch-black outside. John doesn't even want to know how late it is, but his internal clock tells him anyway. 

“I followed him and he puts on this scary looking costume and goes out and beats up people,” Jason says, but he sounds a bit awed, a bit surprised, a bit...well in love maybe. If not with Bruce, then the idea of him being, well...”Like a bird of prey.” Jason finishes. 

“You spied on him?” 

“It's the sane thing to do. Saved his ass too,” Jason grumbles. 

“What?” 

“There was this guy with a gun on the rooftop? And I just hacked away at his hand. No big deal.” 

“You take on criminals now?” John asks. 

“No big deal. It's not like I tried to catch a bullet for that idiot in the bat-suit.” Jason shrugs. He's pacing again and John gets out of the box and paces with him. He can still walk. There is nothing wrong with his legs. 

“Did he see you?” John asks. 

“No, he probably saw a shadow on the rooftop, but that was the guy. I'm too small to be seen.” There is a grin in his eyes. Smug and happy.

Fearless, John thinks, fearless and a bit crazy and a lot angry. And John would do anything for Jason and he knows it.  
“You want to do it again,” John states. 

“It...” Jason stops pacing and rights his feathers. There's blood on his beak, John didn't see it before.

“Jason...”

“It helps,” Jason grits out. 

With the anger, John's brain supplies and he leans into Jason and Jason lets him. “Just be careful.”


	4. Chapter 4

**~four~**  
John is waiting for Bruce to show up. He has no idea what he wants to say to Bruce about the whole being a vigilante thing, he doesn't even know if he should say anything at all, but somehow... This is Bruce's secret and John has told him his, so why didn't Bruce tell John? Granted John blurred it out by accident. Maybe Bruce is just better at keeping secrets, which should be reassuring. Dick would surely think so. Tim probably too. But they don't know, because John didn't tell them and Jason didn't either. John is pretty sure they will find out soon enough. 

“Something on your chest?” Bruce asks as he sits down in the armchair close to where John is perched on the edge of the table near his box. 

John cocks his head. He doesn't like lying. “Yes,” he says tentatively. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Bruce wants to know and he is leaning forward just a little bit. 

“It doesn't... It's about you, it's about if you want to talk about it,” John says and he's a bit frustrated with himself, because he can't find the words. 

Bruce is looking at him, searching him, maybe searching for what John really wants to say. “You know,” he says and nods. 

It's not a question at all, but John says yes anyway. “You're getting in trouble on purpose. You could get hurt.” 

“I can take care of myself,” Bruce replies gently. 

“I thought that too and nearly got killed,” John counters. 

“You are-” Bruce stops when they hear Jason land on the railing. It's raining and his feathers are wet. He looks grumpy. 

He shakes himself and flies inside, lands smoothly beside John, leaves small puddles of rain on the floor on his way. “By all means don't stop on my behalf,” he says and it sounds a bit angry and bit sarcastic. 

“So, you're one too,” Bruce says. 

Jason huffs. “As if you didn't figure that out the first time you saw us.” 

Bruce nods once sharply. Jason might be just a small bird in any human's eyes, but he shouldn't be messed with, shouldn't be underestimated. “Why did you help John then?” Jason continues. 

“Jason-”

“Shh,” Jason says. 

“Because he was hurt.” 

“And you would've helped any bird who was hurt and about to be squeezed to death by mindless children?” Jason asks and when Bruce doesn't reply immediately he adds: “Or just someone like John? Someone with real value?” 

John is holding his breath. He wants Bruce to say that it doesn't matter that he is one of the last of his kind. He wants Bruce to be a good person. He wants-

“I don't know. John is special.” 

Jason nods, but it looks grim. “You are a good liar.” 

“I try to-”

“No, you don't,” Jason cuts in. “You're wearing masks.”   
Somehow John doesn't think Jason is talking about the cowl. 

“I don't want to hurt John or any of you,” Bruce says. 

“That I believe, but it doesn't work that way. Wanting something doesn't mean shit.” 

“Language,” Alfred says just before he stops and looks at Jason and then at Bruce. “Master Bruce,” he says and he sounds exasperated. “Birds. Talking birds that I can work with, but cursing?” He gives Jason a look and Jason shrinks a bit under that gaze. John has never seen Jason do that. Not even when Dick is being stern with him. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't expect you,” Bruce replies. 

“Clearly,” Alfred sets the tray on a table and looks at them. “Well? Do the gentlemen have names?” 

“Uhm...John and that is my...” John trails off, they are family, but not by blood. “Brother, Jason,” he ends with anyway. 

“Pleased to meet you. Please let me know if you need anything,” Alfred says and John nods.

“That was surreal,” Jason says after Alfred leaves the room. 

“Tell me about it,” Bruce replies, “it's like nothing can ever shake that man.” 

John is pretty sure there is at least one thing that could shake Alfred and that would be if something really horrible happened to Bruce. He doesn't voice his suspicion.   
“Read us something?” he asks instead. 

“Something gripping would be good,” Jason throws in and settles into the soft cloth of the box, urging John to join him so they can be close. Jason hardly ever wants to be close on his own, so John complies. 

~+~  
John knows that Jason is flying out at night, following Bruce and trying to help. He's sneaky about it, but Dick finds out anyway. Because Dick knows them all too well. But maybe it was Tim who tipped him off. 

“So, what exactly were you thinking as you went after the guy with the gun?” Dick asks. 

Jason looks hard at Dick. He is all defensive energy and anger. And pride. Recklessness. There's blood on his claws. “That a bullet could kill Wayne?” Jason answers. 

Dick sighs. Dick's sighs always look long-suffering. He is pacing now, all restless energy; from all of them Dick needs to fly or he goes crazy, at least that's John's theory. “He knows what he's doing, Jason.” 

“Oh? And I don't?” Jason asks and his voice has that dangerous quality again. That one that makes John shiver, but he doesn't really know with what, because it's not fear. Not anymore. At least not of Jason. Maybe for Jason. Maybe of losing Jason to it. 

“I didn't say that.” 

“It was certainty implied.” 

“I'm worried about you,” Dick says. 

“You're always worried,” Jason counters. “I'll be fine. I'm careful. I don't step in and try to catch a bullet or anything. It was...the opportunity was there to do something and I did.” 

“But you're seeking it out. Night after night you fly and you follow and you come back with blood on you.” 

“Not mine,” Jason says and it's more like a hiss. 

John knows it doesn't matter to Dick if it's human blood or theirs. Blood is blood and it's bad to spill it in Dick's opinion. Maybe because he saw his parents die. 

“Jason-”

“I won't stop. I can't stop. For the first time I feel like-” he stops and looks outside the window where the first morning light is creeping up on them. John waits for him to finish and he knows Dick is waiting too. But Jason doesn't. He keeps silent. “I won't stop,” he repeats after a while, quietly. 

~+~  
John has no idea what he wants to tell Bruce. He isn't sure Jason would appreciate it if he told Bruce that Jason is out on patrol with him every night too.   
John wants to tell Bruce so Bruce can look out for Jason, but maybe that would distract Bruce from doing what he is doing.   
Maybe coming here, meeting Bruce was the worst thing that could have happened to them.   
On the other hand: Tim seems happy, Dick seems more relaxed and Jason is less tense when he comes back in the mornings to check on John and then just crashes in the box with him. He smells like the night, the city, and blood. But he seeks out John's body-heat and John could never deny him that, could never deny any of them anything. 

And then there is Bruce and John trusts Bruce. Trust him to keep them save. He feels something inside him pulling and pushing and tugging, dragging him forward. Towards Bruce. It's not unlike the feeling he has when he's being around Jason. Something in his chest is hurting. Constantly. Like pieces of his heart are put together wrong. 

“Is he hurt?” Bruce asks quietly, he is looking at Jason's wing. There is a dark smudge on it. Blood. Not Jason's. 

“I didn't hear you enter,” John says. Jason isn't even stirring beside him. He must be really exhausted. 

“Don't deflect John,” Bruce replies and it's the first time Bruce uses his name and John's heart beats way too fast.

“No, he's not. It's not his,” John says. 

Bruce frowns. It's all in his eyes. “I don't like secrets.” 

“You have an awful lot of them for someone who doesn't like them,” John says. 

“You know them all,” Bruce replies gently. 

John honestly doubts that. “They aren't mine to tell.” 

Bruce nods like he gets that and he probably does.


	5. Chapter 5

**~five~**  
Bruce trails off and John cocks his head. “Why did you stop reading?”

“Yeah, Wayne, why did you stop?” Jason asks from the railing. 

“The next part isn't really important to the story, we can just skip ahead,” Bruce says. 

“Why?” John asks. John can feel that Bruce isn't telling him something. 

“It's not imp-”

“Yeah, you said that, but that is what _you_ think,” Jason says flying closer. 

“The next pages are about Rowan and Michael making love.” 

“Ah,” Jason says. “And you're uncomfortable reading porn to birds?” 

“It's not porn!” Bruce replies and he is nearly laughing. John really wonders sometimes what Bruce thinks of them. They are bird-people, and they like to be left alone, but they are not clueless. 

“We are not children,” Jason says. 

“How can I know that?” Bruce answers. 

“For one? We have all our feathers and aren't crying for food constantly, for another: we know all about the birds and the bees.” 

“But you aren't having sex – like humans, I mean,” Bruce says, it's more of a question. 

“No,” Jason answers and then he cocks his head and laughs. “We don't have mating seasons either.” 

Bruce breathes out in something that could be called relief. “I didn't ask.” 

“But you were curious,” John throws in and wonders how it is for humans. Could Bruce sleep with someone like John? Someone who isn't even the same species as him? Not in his current form of course, but in human form. Would Bruce, could Bruce love him? Does he feel that tugging, dragging, that stirring that makes John's heart beat faster? Or is it only John? 

“You are the only bird-people I know. I was wondering if I should start searching for females of your kind or-” 

Jason laughs again. “We fall in love, Wayne,” he says seriously and firmly. John looks at Jason then. _We fall in love._ It rings truer than it should. 

“Jason...” John whispers and Jason's head snaps in his direction. His eyes are intense and burning. It's the we, John thinks. It should be impersonal, but it's not. It's everything but, in fact. It's a confession and an acknowledgement. 

“Read the porn, bat-boy. It won't scare us,” Jason says. 

Bruce glances between them and then just does. 

~+~  
Later when Bruce is gone and probably preparing for patrol, John wonders. He knew that sex between humans would be different than between birds. Not that John has had sex in his life. It just didn't seem like something that was missing. But now...well. It seems to be more than just about making more humans. More than just the – he doesn't know. 

“Thinking deep thoughts?” Jason asks. 

John didn't hear him fly in, which tells him a lot about how good, how stealthy Jason has become since he started to go on patrol with Bruce –Bruce is teaching Jason things, if Bruce is aware of it or not. It's clear to John how dangerous he is now. 

“I-” John starts and then stops, looks at Jason. “Yes.” 

“About Sex? About Wayne? About Sex and Wayne?” 

“Yes,” John admits. 

“You want to be with him.” 

“I feel close to him, I trust him.” 

“You shouldn't,” Jason replies. 

“You risk your life for him every night,” John counters. 

Jason shrugs. “I do it for myself. Mostly.” 

“But you like him too. I know you like him too. You said-”

“I know what I said. I do like him too. But do I trust him not to let us down? No. And neither should you. You need to be really, really sure about this. What happens to you when you change and he doesn't want to be with you?” 

“I won't turn to meerschaum or feathers.” 

Jason rolls his eyes. “I know that. But you would be stuck in that form. Forever human. It's a complicated world out there.” 

John nods. He knows that. Or he thinks he knows that. He never considered wanting to be human, but then he didn't knew Bruce before. Never felt that insistent tugging, dragging, pulling, pushing, burning for a human being. He always thought that he and Jason...well, that it's Jason, because he feels that dragging and burning every time he's close to Jason too.  
But Jason isn't feeling that way about John. He's however feeling something for Bruce. “Is the easy way better, I wonder?” John asks. 

“I begin to ask myself that, you know?” Jason answers quietly. “Wayne is ready for patrol. See you in the morning.” 

“Be careful, Jason.” 

“Sure.” 

~+~  
“Why are you so uncomfortable with reading about humans having sex?” John asks, because it's impossible to not pick up on the discomfort. 

“Jason was right, it is a bit like porn and this one is-”

“About two male characters,” John interrupts. 

“Very graphic,” Bruce says. “And there are things in it that birds aren't doing.” 

“Surely you know that homosexuality is a common thing amongst all species?” John asks. 

Bruce closes the book and puts it on the table. “I am not worried about the homosexuality, John.”

“What is it then?” 

“The different ways people in this book like to have sex,” Bruce answers. 

“Like what?” Because now John is curious. 

“How old are you, John?” 

“What does that have to do with anything?” John asks. 

“Just tell me. I don't want to be corrupting minors.” 

“I'm a bird, Bruce.” 

“You are one of the bird-people. I know already that your kind lives longer than normal birds and – other stuff.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like that some people think you bring luck, that your bones can heal the sick, that your feathers give humans wisdom, and your hearts and livers can be used to-” 

“You heard about all the ways to use parts of us to make you better, stronger, wiser. And were you tempted to try it?” Jason asks from the window. Bruce looks in his direction. John just knows that he didn't realise that Jason was even there. Lurking in the shadows. 

“To kill you, you mean?” 

“Yes, to murder us.” 

“No, I wasn't. I'm not,” Bruce says. His voice sounds firm and a bit angry. 

“You know the only thing that makes us special is that we can talk,” Jason replies. “You do eat chicken.” 

“You are more than just birds. You feel, you think, you-” he stops. “We aren't all the same, Jason.” 

“I know,” Jason replies. There's silence and then Jason asks: “So why did you pick that one if it makes you so uncomfortable?”

“I haven't read it before,” Bruce admits. “It was a gift.”

“And is it the sex between two guys or...?” Jason trails off. 

“It's about the bondage, the threesomes and all the other stuff I don't have any desire to explain to you,” Bruce says. 

“Some of us are less clueless than others,” Jason says coming closer. Bruce looks at him. “I like to watch people.” 

“Watch people?” 

“Fuck. I like watching people fuck,” Jason clarifies. 

Bruce chokes a bit on something that is a shocked laugh. John isn't sure if Jason really means it or if he just wants to mess with Bruce, or if it's something else. If Jason is trying to make Bruce see them as equals. Beings with wishes, fears, and desires similar to his own.  
“Maybe TV is the thing for you then,” Bruce says. 

“We can try that tomorrow night.” 

Bruce gives him a look. Long and searching, but only nods. 

~+~  
“So, is it interesting to watch humans make love?” John whispers as Jason snuggles closer to him. He smells like the city, rain, and exhaustion. No blood this time. John is glad. 

Jason shrugs. “I didn't think so-”

“Before,” John interrupts. 

“Yeah.” 

“And now you're curious about Bruce too,” John says. 

Jason nips his wing. The one that isn't healing. “Go to sleep. I am exhausted.” 

“You could just stay home from time to time,” John says. 

“I bet Alfred is telling Wayne that too,” Jason replies. There is a laugh in his eyes. 

“Jason,” John whispers and Jason nips his beak. It's a bit like a human kiss. 

“I'm as safe as I can be,” Jason says and John believes him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part Two:**

**~one~**  
“Master Bruce,” Alfred says in that tone that makes John look up and Bruce pay attention. 

Bruce marks the page with a finger and looks at Alfred. “Yes?” 

“There is a naked boy standing near the fountain,” Alfred answers. 

“Pick me up!” John says and his voice is too high. Bruce seems a bit alarmed. John can hear chirping from outside. “Pick me up!” he demands a bit sharper and Bruce does. Carefully, so carefully. John cranes his neck to better see outside the big windows. 

“John?” 

“We need to be outside, right now!” John urges and Bruce makes for the window. 

“Master Bruce!” Alfred says sharply. “You will not jump.” 

“Right,” Bruce replies with a look at John in his hands. “Right.” And then he makes for the door and John's heart is pounding in his chest because it can only be Tim. Tim is human and that means...John has no idea what that means. Except that things just started to get a lot more complicated. 

~+~  
Dick is sitting on the stone rim of the fountain and Jason is pacing, which. This is so surreal.   
Usually it's Dick who needs to be constantly in motion. 

“It just happened,” Tim says. He sounds unhappy John thinks. 

“It's totally natural,” Dick tells him, what must be the hundredth time. John is sure of it. 

“How? I am not. I am _human_ ,” Tim says. There is something in his voice that is very close to disgust and John hopes that Bruce doesn't take it personally. Because there is no hope that Bruce didn't pick up on it. 

“And naked, Master Tim,” Alfred says. He is holding a blanket, offering it to Tim. Tim shies away from it. Clothing aren't natural to them. But John guesses Tim can't be human and naked the whole time. 

“I didn't know you can be-” Bruce says looking at Tim. Staring, assessing. “This. I didn't know you could change,” he whispers and he looks away from Tim and at John. John can feel his gaze on his body. He twitches in Bruce's hands. 

“We can,” Dick replies. He looks a bit like the world is going to end. People, humans aren't supposed to know about this. There were times when people knew, but those times are long gone. It's safer this way. 

“At least it happened here,” Jason throws in. John can only agree. The grounds of Wayne manor are as safe as they can be. 

“You are shivering, Master Tim,” Alfred says gently and steps closer with the blanket. 

Tim steps away again. “I don't want it. I don't want this!” He replies, his voice nearly breaks on the last word. 

John only now realises that Tim's hair is wet and his skin damp and that he must have been playing in the fountain when it happened.

“It'll be alright,” Dick says again, flying closer to Tim, who steps away and doesn't let anyone of them come near him. 

“I'm human Dick! I'm human. Humans killed your parents how can you even look at me?!” He yells and then he just sags and sits down in the grass, slings his arms around his body, like wings and trembles, because...John doesn't know. He doesn't let himself cry. Because crying isn't natural for them either. 

“Come inside,” John says gently. 

Tim shakes his head. “I'm human...how can I be human? I didn't. I am not- there is no one!” 

“It doesn't always work that way. Sometimes...sometimes you can just change at will. Some of us could and it seems you can too-” Dick begins. 

“Or you'll be stuck in that form,” Jason adds and John knows he doesn't say it because he's a dick, he says it because lying doesn't help anyone. And Tim needs to know these things so he can cope.   
Tim's head snaps in Jason's direction and the look in Jason's eyes tells him everything he needs to know. Jason never lies to him. 

“Human, for the rest of my life?” 

“It happened before. There are legends of skinwalkers and people who couldn't, wouldn't change back.” 

“I know about people who wouldn't change back, but this is different! There is no one. There is no one and I could never! Never. Not with a human.” Tim sobs.   
John feels a stab of guilt. He could. He would. He wants to. With Bruce. 

“Dick,” Bruce says and Dick looks at him. Sharply, but then he nods.

“I know, we need to talk,” he replies.   
Bruce nods. 

“I'll stay here with Tim, you can get us later,” John says quietly.   
Bruce's fingers flex under him like he doesn't want to leave John here. John wants to tell him he'll be alright, but Jason beats him to it. 

“Tim can scare away stray cats now that he is human, Wayne,” he says. 

Tim gasps and then laughs. It sounds painful.   
Bruce nods and stets John down gently into the grass close to where Jason is. 

~+~  
John has a vague idea what Dick and Bruce are talking about while he’s sitting close to Jason and a naked Tim. Dick always suspected that one of Tim’s parents had been human. And that it could be a problem. But Dick is also practical and it wouldn’t have done anyone any good to worry Tim with a _possibility_.   
But it’s reality now. Tim can change at will and god only knows what else Tim will be able to do once he’s older. 

“You’re special,” John says trying to cheer Tim up. 

“Yeah, you can kick any cat’s ass now. You could save innocent lives,” Jason throws in. 

Tim scowls at him and then smiles. “I can,” he whispers.  

“Don’t let it go to your head,” John replies. He feels like smiling and joking should be the way to go here, but it’s really enough that Jason is risking his life out there every night. John gets it, he really does. There is something in Jason that needs this. And it’s better, he is helping people than attacking them. Still, he thinks Tim is way too young to do what Bruce is doing – for example.   
John can’t help it, he worries. 

“I won’t, but it could be handy to scare cats away. If I had been hum- this, like this when you fell from the tree I could’ve helped you,” Tim says. 

And I would have never met Bruce, John thinks. He wonders if that would’ve been better or worse in the long run.   
“You should let Alfred take care of you. You’re still shivering,” John says instead. 

“I’m fine. I don’t want to wear clothes. They look weird and like they’re uncomfortable.” Tim uncurls from his position and stretches his legs, wriggles his toes in the grass. It looks strange. John had never looked, really looked, at a human’s toes, but he can’t look away from Tim’s. They’re small and pink and look vulnerable. If he’d scratched them Tim would bleed.  

Skin seems to be such a fragile thing to cover a body. He’s never thought about it much before.   
“How does it feel?” John wants to know. 

“What?” Tim asks. He’s still wriggling his toes.

“Skin, how does it feel to have skin?” John clarifies. 

“Oh, uhm…” Tim says, stroking his leg with one finger carefully. “I don’t know. Weird, but it feels…good. This,” and he strokes again, a bit lighter now, “This feels good and the grass is weird too.” He plugs a blade out and puts it in his mouth and spits it out. “I don’t think I can eat that. It tastes strange and not good.” Tim digs his fingers into the soft earth like he would if he were searching for worms. And as he finds one he eats that too. 

“Master Tim!” Alfred says from a distance.  

“And?” Jason asks. 

Tim swallows. “Still delicious, but it feels weird going down.” Tim shrugs. 

“Master Tim,” Alfred repeats, he sounds long-suffering and like he’s dealt with a lot of childish behaviour that wasn’t in any way normal. And if John thinks about what Bruce is getting up to at night – well. Alfred surely did the best he could under the circumstances.   

Tim gives him a look. John knows Tim likes Alfred, but right now Tim is freaking out and trying not to show it – much. “I saw human children eating worms too.” 

“Small children. Children who don’t know any better.” 

“This is my normal diet,” Tim replies. “I like the taste.” 

“Maybe I’ll make a salad for you,” Alfred says. “Some cake?” 

“I do wonder about chocolate,” Tim admits. 

“Don’t all children?” Alfred says.   
Tim smiles at him, Alfred smiles back trying to hand the blanket over again. Tim shakes his head. 

“That’s still a no to clothes,” Jason throws in unhelpfully. 

“I should prepare a bedroom for you then, Master Tim.”

“I’ll sleep in the same room as John,” Tim replies. 

“And Master Dick?” Alfred asks. 

“I think you’ll need to find another one of those nice wine-boxes, Alfie,” Jason says.   
Alfred makes – not a face, because Alfred doesn’t make faces, but he does something at the nickname. Jason sees it too. 

“Very well, Master Jason,” Alfred replies. He leaves the blanket as he goes back to the manor. 

~+~  
“A house full of birds,” Alfred says and there is something in his voice, something warm, John really likes it. “Who would have thought that by rescuing you Master John, Master Bruce would gain so much?” 

John isn’t sure it’s a real question. He isn’t sure they didn’t get the better deal out of this, either. They have a safe home here and no one is freaking out about Tim running around naked in the garden or the house. Tim still refuses to wear clothes and John is glad Bruce doesn’t seem the very social type. John’s room is their room now, as Dick moved in as Tim did. Bruce helped Alfred drag in a big bed, because Tim didn’t want to sleep anywhere else. And it wasn’t okay either that John just moved with his box. This room, that is more of a library, it’s John’s, it’s theirs. Tim thinks all the other rooms smell weird. Unused. Dusty. John hasn’t been out much, but with Tim being human, and able to carry John around, he will.   
   
~+~  
The woman’s name is Carrie. And she’s staring at Tim. Tim is staring right back until he isn’t interested anymore and just shrugs. John can feel the movement as he’s sitting in Tim’s hands.  

“Bruce!” she yells.   
Tim winces. 

“Miss Carrie,” Alfred says calmly. 

“Alfred. There is a naked boy with a bird sitting on the stairs. A naked boy. With a bird,” she repeats. Her hair is candy pink. John wonders if Bruce likes the colour. Wonders how his hair would look like. 

“Indeed, Miss Carrie,” Alfred replies. He sounds amused, for Alfred. 

“Bruce didn’t say anything about …family?” she asks, “Visiting.” 

“It must have slipped his mind. He is such a busy man, Miss Carrie.” 

She gives him a look, but doesn’t comment. “Is he…” she stops and then nearly whispers “special?”   
John knows what special means for this woman. John wants to give her a piece of his mind, but he doesn’t. A naked boy is bad enough, it seems. She probably wouldn’t cope too well with speaking birds.

“If you mean if I’m crazy? No, I’m not,” Tim says. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you could talk,” she replies. 

“Why wouldn’t I talk?” 

“Because you’re naked and-“

“Naked people talk, they even sing. Bruce does,” Tim says. 

John winces. Maybe Tim shouldn’t have said that. She gasps, trying to suppress it, but John hears it anyway. Tim too. 

"Where is Bruce anyway, Alfred? We were supposed to meet here ten minutes ago." 

"As I said before Miss Carrie, Master Bruce is a very busy man." 

"Maybe I should come back later. Give my regards and tell him to call me, Alfred." 

"Very well, Miss."


	7. Chapter 7

**~two~**

“So, is Miss Carrie your girlfriend?” John asks. 

“Don't call her Miss Carrie. Only Alfred calls her that,” Bruce answers. 

“That wasn't an answer,” John says. 

“She is not my girlfriend,” Bruce replies. 

“But she likes you and she comes unannounced,” John says. 

“To be fair, Master Bruce wanted to meet Miss Carrie for lunch,” Alfred remarks, setting the coffee on the table. John wonders how it tastes, because it smells amazing. 

“You just stood her up?” 

“I had urgent business to attend to,” Bruce answers.

“Batman business?” John asks. 

“Yes.”

“But you like her and go out with her and have sex with her?” John wants to know. 

Bruce closes his eyes briefly. “Bruce Wayne needs to be seen in public with -”

“Beautiful women?” John cuts in. 

“Yes, beautiful and not so bright women.” 

“So, you're using her,” John says. 

“We benefit both from this arrangement,” Bruce replies. 

“Arrangement,” John says, “I didn't think...I mean shouldn't it be more than something of a business deal?” 

“Ideally, yes,” Alfred cuts in. 

“I don't have time for real relationships. Batman can't afford it,” Bruce says a bit too sharply. 

“And if you tell her?” John asks, he doesn't want for Bruce to be happy with a women, or anyone human for that matter, but he doesn't want Bruce to be unhappy and alone either. And in his bird-form he could still be at Bruce's side as long as he lives. As long as Bruce allows them to stay here and John doesn't think that Bruce would ever make them leave. 

“Carrie? I don't think so. She is fun, but she isn't someone I could ever trust.” 

John wonders in what ways she is fun. Is she just funny, or witty, or good in bed? The last thing, is a constant nagging feeling at the back of his mind. John has no idea about the first thing when it comes to human sex life. He doesn't even have skin, so he could experiment with his own body. But the urge to have skin is growing stronger and stronger every day.  
“And if you find someone you can trust?” John asks. 

“Maybe then I'll tell them,” Bruce says. 

Maybe, John thinks, hopes more, really, maybe he won't have to. 

~+~  
When Bruce finds out he’s angry. Really angry. It’s a cold anger. Nothing John has ever had to deal with before. Jason is hot angry, reckless, and fierce.  
Bruce is something else. 

“I don’t want you to follow me anymore!” 

Jason isn’t having any of it. Of course. Tim is watching, curled up in one of the big armchairs, he is so fond of.  
“I saved your ass!” Jason yells. 

“You could’ve been killed,” Bruce says. He is staring Jason down, but Jason is too angry to see the danger. Maybe he doesn’t think he is in danger. Not from Bruce. John doesn’t think so either, if he’s honest. Still. Bruce can be really scary. And he is now. 

“Same goes for you, Bat-boy,” Jason replies. 

“I’m trained for-“

“Not everyone can be a natural,” Jason cuts in. He’s smirking, John can hear it in his voice. Jason likes that Bruce is angry, John realises, and he likes to know there is someone who can match his anger. John thinks, he really should’ve seen that coming. 

“Jason!” Bruce says sharply. 

Jason perches on the railing, glaring. “It’s because I’m a bird, isn’t it?” Jason’s voice sounds cold. It makes John shiver and wish that Dick was here to somehow make this better.  
Bruce just looks at him.  
“Oh, fuck you, seriously!” And then Jason jumps from the railing and transforms and John has never seen anything so scary and beautiful in his life. It only takes a few seconds and Jason is standing naked on the balcony floor.

Bruce takes a step back. To make room maybe.  
“Jason,” John says. He can hear the awe in his own voice.  

“It’s not what you think!” Jason replies sharply. 

John really isn’t so sure. 

~+~  
Jason has perfect balance even as a human. He is sitting on the railing and looking outside. It’s raining but he refuses to wear clothes like Tim.  
Bruce doesn’t look at him. Not anywhere that isn’t Jason’s face. Or his back, his neck. Jason’s skin is wet and he is shivering with the cold rain, but he still refuses to talk to Bruce.  
Tim drags the chair close to the window. He doesn’t like rain much, or being cold, but he needs to be close to Jason. John understands. They are the same now.  
John tries to talk to Jason about his change, but Jason blocks any and all attempts. He doesn’t talk to Dick either.  
Dick is worried. John is too. 

~+~  
“Is he in love?” Bruce asks. 

Dick shakes his head. “I don’t know. Usually, it used to be the reason for the change into a human body. But Tim isn’t in love-“

“You said Tim’s parents were human. At least one of them.” 

“We don’t know anything about Jason or his parents. Bird or human,” Dick says. 

“You must know something,” Bruce replies. “Every little detail could help me-”

“He doesn’t talk about his past. Not with us, not with Dick. With no one,” John cuts in. He suspects horrible things happened to Jason when he was younger and he understands that Jason just wants to leave it all behind. 

“I could try-“ Bruce starts and Dick interrupts him. 

“Or you could let it be for once.” 

Bruce gives him a look like he wants to argue that, like he wants to tell him it’s not in his nature to let things go. 

“He’s pissed off. Anger can trigger a change, if it’s strong enough. And Jason has always been angry. And now, you tried to take away something that he loves doing,” John says looking up at Bruce. 

“I just don’t want him to get hurt or killed,” Bruce replies. 

“But you’re doing the same thing he does, every night. Don’t you think we don’t worry about you too?” John asks softly. 

“John,” Bruce answers and John suppresses a shiver. “I’ve trained for this. I have experience with these people, the city. Jason doesn’t and he was so small.”

“Not anymore. He is human now. Have you looked at him? Really looked?” John asks. He knows Bruce hasn’t for some reason. “He is big and strong, and has the perfect grace and balance he used to have as a bird. We are what we are, Bruce. No matter the form.” 

“You are what you are,” Bruce repeats. “He is a boy three days now. He has no idea how to be human.” 

“I wonder,” Dick says, “Do humans know how to be human?” 

Bruce smiles at him. It’s a soft smile and something inside John clenches painfully. “We make it up as we go, mostly.” Bruce admits. “Still, he is not ready to go out there and fight crime. He doesn’t even wear clothes for god’s sake.” 

“That really bothers you, doesn’t it? That Tim and Jason are naked all the time?” Dick asks. 

“Yes, it does. I know it shouldn’t, but it does.” 

“I’ll talk to him,” Dick says. 

Bruce gives him a look. “Him?” 

“I won’t force Tim to wear clothes, Bruce,” Dick replies firmly. 

“But you want to force Jason?” 

“He is thinking about it anyway,” John cuts in. He knows Jason. Jason won’t quit being a vigilante just because he isn’t a bird right now. He will come up with something and the first thing will be clothes. 

~+~  
“I get it. You are worried, because I’ve been human only for a few days,” Jason says. He’s wearing loose pants and a shirt. His feet are bare, because he hates socks and shoes.  
And right now it doesn’t matter much anyway. There is nothing that can hurt him inside the house. 

“Yes,” Bruce replies. 

“So, I want you to train me. I mean, there is stuff I know and there is instinct, but there are hell of a lot of things you can teach me.” 

“Teach you?” Bruce says like he hasn’t even considered this possibility. 

“Yeah, teach me. So I won’t get killed when I’m out there, and I will go out there. You have to know that,” Jason replies. 

“Jason-”

“You can’t stop me. Unless you sit on me all day and night,” Jason cuts in grinning. “That would be counterproductive to your vigilante lifestyle, hmm?” Bruce glares at him. “But maybe, you would like to sit on me for a while?” 

“Jason!” John says. 

“Kidding.” 

Bruce ignores the flirting or attempts to rile him up, or whatever Jason is trying to do here.  
“Fine, but I say when you’re ready to be on the streets.” 

Jason bites his lip and grins. John just knows that he has a smart comeback in mind that he is fighting not to let out. Something vaguely scandalous and sexual. 

~+~  
John makes Tim bring him down to the cave to watch Jason train with Bruce. He feels vaguely jealous, because Jason can touch Bruce now and he can touch John too, but he is different. The touch is different. John misses Jason’s feathers, his beak, his claws. Instead Jason has soft human skin. Tender and easily hurt, easily bruised, torn to shreds. He’s the same as Bruce. 

“Again,” Bruce says and Jason just obeys. He grits his teeth and then grins wide and attacks. There is so much grace in his movements, so much raw power that it takes John’s breath away. 

“He’s good,” Tim says. He’s still naked and shivering in the cold cave air. 

“Bruce or Jason?” John asks. 

“Both, I guess,” Tim answers. “And he’s having fun. Both of them are having fun,” Tim corrects before John can ask. 

“It looks that way,” John admits. 

“Do you think, maybe Bruce could show me some things too?” 

“You want to fight crime now as well, Master Tim?” Alfred asks. John didn’t hear him come down. Alfred is a ninja. 

“I don’t know. I want to do something and that looks like fun,” Tim answers. 

“You are bored then?” Alfred wants to know. 

Tim nods. “I’ve seen everything that I could here.”

“I assure you, Master Tim, there is much more to see. If you would put on some clothes-“

Tim shakes his head. “No,” he interrupts firmly. 

Alfred doesn’t sigh. “The internet perhaps?” 

Tim perks up. “I’ve heard people talk about it.”  

“I think you will like it.” Alfred replies.


	8. Chapter 8

**~three~**  
Tim takes to the internet and all things that have to do with computers like a duck to water. It’s strange watching his family change and grow and maybe be more themselves. Tim is sitting on the floor of their room with three laptops, which he tries to rebuild or something. John zooned out a bit during Tim’s rambling. It’s not that it isn’t interesting, it’s just that John has the feeling he’s somehow left behind. Even if he isn’t the last one in bird-form. Their natural state so to speak.  
Dick hadn’t changed either. Yet. 

“Is Jason still in the cave with Bruce?” Dick asks, landing on the table gracefully. There will never be a time where John doesn’t enjoy Dick’s flying. 

“Yes,” John answers. 

“You think Bruce will let him go out and fight crime?” Dick cocks his head, a soft smile in his eyes as he watches Tim ‘play’. 

“Sure he will. Or Jason is going to do it alone and Bruce doesn’t want him to get hurt, so he will go with Jason,” John says. And they will bound and share blood and sweat and pain while John will stay at home and _worry_. No way in hell, he thinks. 

“Oh, oh!” Tim shouts and then ducks his head. 

John looks at him. “Figured it out, hmm?” 

“Yes, yes and I can make it better!” Tim answers. “It could improve Bruce’s computer as well,” he adds. “Need to talk to him over dinner.”  

And that’s another thing, John thinks. Dinner. They are eating in their room with Bruce, but Jason and Tim are eating real human food. Even if Tim also insists on worms in his salad and refuses to eat any kind of other meat. Even fish is out of the question after he’s seen something about tuna on the Discovery Channel.  
Jason on the other hand has only qualms about eating birds, which Alfred doesn’t serve anyway.  
John has nothing to talk about with Bruce it seems, lately that is, because Bruce is so busy with Jason and Tim. With the human boys. They need more care, more attention, and it seems that Bruce loves Tim’s sharp mind and Jason’s (maybe) even sharper tongue. And John really shouldn’t go there at all. 

“You okay; John?” Dick asks after a heavy silence, in which there was only soft breathing and clicking to hear – coming from Tim. 

“Yes. I mean…I didn’t think we would change so much just because I broke my wing.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Dick says. 

“I know!” John replies frustrated. “I know, it’s not about placing blame-“

“It never is with you,” Dick interrupts softly and John smiles at him. 

“I miss flying,” John says. He does miss flying and he misses Bruce reading to him and he is tired of second guessing his feelings and trying to keep them in check around Bruce and Jason – even Tim, Dick, and Alfred.  

“Your appointment with the doctor is tomorrow, isn’t it?” 

“Yes,” John answers. He’s a bit afraid. He does feel fine, but…what if it didn’t grow together like it should have? The fear is always there. 

“You’ll be up in the sky in no time,” Dick says. 

“And then?” John asks. 

“And then what?” 

“Do you want us to leave?” 

“With Tim being naked and human and Jason being…well, Jason? Are you kidding?” Dick nudges his belly gently with his beak and John makes a noise. 

Tim looks up. “Is Dick being mean to you?” 

“Dick is always mean to everyone,” Dick replies. 

Tim laughs. Even his laugher is different in this form. Must be the teeth and lips and all that _skin_.

“I guess I just needed to hear it,” John says. 

“What?” Dick asks. 

“That we’re here to stay,” John replies. 

“As long as Bruce lets us,” Dick says.  
Could be for the rest of their lives for all John knows. It’s not a bad thought.

~+~  
“Are you sulking?” Jason asks. He’s kicked his feet up on the armrest of the chair. John wants to bite his toe. 

“I’m not!” 

“You totally are,” Jason says. “Is it because Bruce doesn’t have time for you anymore?”

Urgh, John thinks, Jason can be such an ass. “He’s a busy vigilante.”

“Now busier that he has me to deal with,” Jason replies. He’s drumming his fingers on the chair. He feels restless and John does too. 

“Let’s go flying,” John says.

“I can’t fly in this form. No wings. At all.” Jason flaps his arms for demonstration. 

“Bruce showed you things,” John replies. 

“Well…yeah, he did. I'm not supposed to use them out there.”

“It’s the grounds of the manor. The grass is soft, the earth is soft…nice high trees?” John says. 

“Fine, bird-boy, you win!” Jason replies and jumps out of the chair gracefully. He lands in a crouch on the floor and holds a hand out for John. 

“Thanks, I’ll be fine,” John says.  
Jason shrugs and then leaps, runs and jumps from the balcony down into the garden. John follows. 

~+~  
John watches as Jason strips his clothes and throws them on the grass. It’s a warm, sunny day and it’s only natural to want to play in the water.  
There are bruises on Jason’s skin. Old and new. He stretches and then looks over his shoulder at John. 

“What?” 

“Looks like it hurt,” John answers. 

“It’s strange having skin. The sensations are all fucked up and somehow more. When you hurt, it bruises and bleeds and forms this funny looking pattern…but-” Jason stops and John stares at his back. The soft looking, pale skin there. Unblemished. New. So new. 

“What?” He asks, but he isn’t sure he wants to hear it. 

“It feels nice when someone touches you,” Jason says. “Remember when Tim dragged his finger over his leg?” 

“Yeah,” John replies and suppresses a shiver of- something. 

“That does feel nice and breath hitting skin, that feels nice too. Touching, touching feels nice. If someone does it or if you do it yourself. Even your wings brushing against me, that is good too,” Jason finishes and then just jumps into the pool without a second glance.  
John feels jealous again. He wants that.  
He watches Jason swim, staying on the grass close by and enjoying the sun. Tries not to imagine how it would feel to touch Jason, to feel his skin against his own. How it would taste under his mouth, inside him… He closes his eyes and as he opens them again, Jason is looking at him.  
His hair is wet and the water on his skin makes him seem feral somehow and beautiful. Like something inhuman. More than human. Which he is somehow too. 

“You should change, John,” he says. 

“I want to,” John whispers. 

“Not enough. Something’s holding you back,” Jason replies. 

John keeps silent. He knows that. He just can’t figure out what it is. Jason? Bruce? Both of them. The sheer fact that he wants Jason to be happy? That he wants Bruce to be happy? And that it would complicate things if he were human too?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning!**  
>  I'm going to warn for mild bird/human sexual interaction here...some people might find disturbing.

**~four~**  
Bruce sits down in the armchair with a new book on Saturday. John has been out with Dick flying the whole evening and he feels pleasantly tired. He’s also surprised that Bruce is here.

“Want me to read to you? Or are you bored with stories about stupid humans doing stupid things?”

“Do you have time for this?” John asks and it comes out a bit sharper than he would’ve liked.

“I make the time now, John.”

“Has Dick said something to you?” John asks, suspicion rising inside him.

“He might have let fall a few breadcrumbs I followed,” Bruce admits.

John sighs. “I’m fine. Now that I can fly I am not bored anymore.”

“You weren’t that bored when Tim was caring you around either, still. A blind man can see that you are not fine John.”

“It’s just,” John says, flapping his wings uselessly, and why does he do that anyway? To drive it home that he’s still just a bird? Stupid. Bruce knows that. “Things have changed.”

“You mean Tim,” Bruce says.

“I mean Jason,” John replies.

“You don’t want me to train him?”

“As if Jason gives a shit what I want, Bruce. It’s not about that. It’s about-” he stops and straightens his feathers. He has no idea what it’s about, except that everything, _everything_ , is different now. “So much has changed in just a few weeks,” he settles on.

“You didn’t,” Bruce says and his voice sounds softer than usually.

“Is that good or bad, I wonder?” John asks.

“I like a bit of consistency from time to time,” Bruce replies.

“There wasn’t much of that lately.”

“New, exciting things are good too,” Bruce says.

“You aren’t of any great help right now.”

“Should I read to you then?” Bruce asks.

“Yes,” John answers and doesn’t wonder where the rest of his, their, family is.

~+~  
John’s seen it before. He hasn’t watched, but he’s seen it flying by.

“Sorry,” he says backing away and Jason smiles.

“It’s okay. You can stay. I know you’re curious about – skin,” he replies. John knows he was meant to catch the slight pause. He has no idea if he wants to see this, this being Jason naked and stroking himself. Touching, biting his lip, writhing on the grass. He’s bathed in light sweat and sunshine. It’s difficult to breathe looking at him.

But Jason is right of course. John is curious, not only about skin, but about Jason, about Jason’s new body. He flies closer and as he sets down next to Jason, a wing brushes Jason’s leg and he moans. John nearly jumps back in panic. “Sorry, sorry…”

“No, that was good, that…” he trails off shutting his mouth firmly, but John knows him.

So he brushes his wing against Jason’s skin again. He makes it into a game of some sorts…brushing against Jason’s skin in different places, with different strokes, changing strength, and pace. And Jason is panting and making noises that make John’s stomach twist in all kinds of pleasant ways. He wants to look at Jason, wants to sit on his chest, and look at his face, run his fingers over Jason’s skin and flesh. Dig in with blunt nails that don’t have to make someone bleed.

“John,” Jason grits out and then he goes still. John steps aside, flies up into the closest tree and looks at Jason. Naked and spent and smiling. Jason opens his eyes as a leaf falls down on his chest. “And you’re still a bird,” he says. “What is wrong with you?”

“I don’t-“

“Maybe you need to watch Bruce do that,” Jason cuts in.

“Does Bruce do that?” John wonders.

“I bet,” Jason says. “Because it feels amazing. He would be stupid not to.”

It certainly looked like it felt amazing, John thinks. It looked amazing too. 

~+~  
The image doesn’t leave John’s mind. It’s a constant thing in his head. And when he looks at Bruce he wonders. When he watches Bruce with Jason he wonders even more.

“Do, you want to do this with Bruce?” John asks a few days later when he’s alone with Jason on the balcony. Jason is smoking, which Bruce says is a bad habit and John thinks looks like fun.

“Do what? Have sex?” Jason asks, exhaling smoke. He seems so human. More than Tim, who still refuses to wear clothes. Jason doesn't like them either and is walking around naked when he can get away with it, but he doesn't hate them.

“Yes, have sex,” John answers and wonders if it means something else for Jason too. Something more than just the pleasure of the body. He hopes for it, he really does, because Bruce deserves it and because Jason deserves it too. To feel loved.

“Yeah,” Jason says. “I bet he’s really good at it too. What with the way he moves, the perfect control and stamina of his body. And all the practice he’s had, if you can even believe half of the gossip magazines.” He turns to look at John, who is perched on the railing. “What about you?”

“I don’t know.”

“I call bullshit on that. I know you have _feelings_ for him.”

“’Feelings’ sounds like a dirty word when you say it, Jason,” John says.

Jason shrugs. “I try not to fall in love with the species that wants us behind glass or in their blood-stream.”

“Bruce is different and you know it. They aren’t all the same,” John says firmly. “Like we aren’t all the same.”

“True enough I suppose.” He puts the butt out against the railing and John gives him a look. “I won’t tell Alfred if you don’t tell.”

“He’ll know anyway,” John says.


	10. Chapter 10

**~five~**  
Miss Carrie is sitting in the library looking at Tim who is playing with the laptops again. He's still naked. 

“How old are you?” She asks. 

Tim shrugs his shoulders. John tries to look like he isn't watching the whole scene with horrified fascination. “Don't you know or -”

“What does it matter?” Tim asks, he's still not looking up from his work. 

“Well, you are still naked and I think you might be brilliant and Bruce is hiding you away here-”

“I don't like being out there,” Tim cuts in sharply. 

“Oh, okay...” Miss Carrie says. 

John has the feeling she really tries to make an effort here. Tim doesn't make it easy, but then Tim doesn't trust humans, the only exceptions are Alfred and Bruce, but they proved themselves to Tim more than once. 

“And he's not hiding me. I don't like...people.” 

“Should I go then?” Miss Carrie asks. 

Tim shrugs again. “I don't think Bruce will keep his appointment. He's out with Jason,” Tim says. 

“Who is Jason?” 

“My brother,” Tim answers. 

“Is he-”

Tim turns and smirks, it doesn't look friendly. “He wears clothes,” he says. “In public.” And now John just knows that Tim is riling her up. Jason is a bad influence on him. Dick should be here more often. But now that Dick doesn't have to keep them all alive and happy and together, he is out flying every second he can get away with it. John doesn't begrudge him that. Dick deserves to be happy too and flying makes Dick happy like nothing else. 

“Where are your parents?” 

“Dead,” Tim states flatly. 

“I'm sorry...”

“If you didn't kill them, you don't have to be sorry,” Tim says. 

“I-” she stops. She clearly doesn't know how to reply to that. “How long will you stay?” 

“A lifetime,” Jason says from the door. He's leaning against the frame, cigarette between his lips. John has to look away from him, because he wants to make Jason moan again. 

Miss Carrie swirls around too fast and nearly loses her balance. “You're Jason?”

Jason gives her the once over and smiles. “Yeah, I am.” 

She blushes and probably hates herself for it. Jason is obviously so much younger than her.   
“Is Bruce with you? Your baby brother said you were out together.” 

“Baby brother?” Jason asks. 

Tim raises an eyebrow. “Did you get me the good stuff?” 

“Sure,” Jason answers. “In the kitchen. Try not to make Alfred cry with your choice of...diet,” Jason says. 

Tim grins. “You coming John?” He asks holding a hand out and John thinks that it'll be better to be in the kitchen with Tim eating nice fresh worms than being here with Jason and Miss Carrie. God only knows what Jason is up to looking at her like that.   
So he flies over to Tim and sits down on his palm. Miss Carrie looks a bit shocked.

“Trained that little wing well,” Jason says and John really hopes it's for Miss Carries sake.

~+~  
“You put the moves on her, didn't you?” Tim asks later. 

Jason shrugs, like it doesn't matter. 

“On Bruce's girlfriend?” John asks. 

“He said, they weren't serious,” Jason answers. 

“In his house, Jason.” 

“I'm trying to blend in,” Jason says. 

“If Bruce throws you out, don't come crying to us,” Tim replies. 

“He won't. He loves us,” Jason says and it sounds mocking. John feels angry. Why, why must Jason always do that? Why does he want people to think that he is a horrible person? 

“He does,” Dick throws in from the railing he just landed on. 

“So, you're back from wherever you're disappearing to,” Jason says. 

Dick shakes out his feathers. He's been flying. He doesn't seem to be bond to the manor like the rest of them. John hasn't been anywhere that wasn't the grounds since he came here. Tim refuses to leave the house more often than not and Jason, well...he goes out, but only with Bruce. Preparing for patrol, learning the layout of the city.   
“It's a good evening for flying,” Dick says. 

Jason glances at the sky. “Seems so.” 

Tim uncurls from his chair and steps onto the balcony. He climbs up on the railing and spreads his arms like wings and then he jumps and John is terrified, but Tim's wings spread and he is flying circles above the balcony. “It is a good night for flying,” he says and John can hear the laughter in his voice. Dick soars up and they race up high and higher. John wants to follow. 

“Go on, I know you want to play with them,” Jason says. 

“I- what about you?” John asks. 

“I've made my choice,” Jason says. And it's final, John thinks. Jason will stay in this human body until he dies. And John is still unsure, still terrified to make that choice. “Go on. I won't wait up,” Jason adds.   
John nods and spreads his wings. 

 

~+~  
“You look unhappy, John,” Dick says. 

“I’m not,” John replies and it’s the truth. He is not. He is happy here. It’s just that everything is a bit messed up now and he feels too young for this. 

“John,” Dick says. 

John sighs. “Okay, remember when you told us stories about maybe finding the one true love?” he asks and as Dick nods he continues, “And you said because we’re bird-people the one true love could be a human too and we shouldn’t be afraid of that. Because we could change for that person, so they could be close, so we could be together,” John says. 

“Yes. It’s Bruce for you, isn’t it?” Dick asks.  

John nods. “But before Bruce it had always been Jason, Dick. Always. Since the first time you brought him home my heart has been pounding faster whenever he’s close and I still feel that way. And how can that be? If Bruce is my one and true love? How can I feel so much for Jason? And it’s not brotherly. I know it’s not, Dick-” he looks at Dick, willing him to understand.“I’ve done _things_ with Jason.”

“Things. As in sexual things?” Dick asks. 

John nods. “Yes.”

“Before?” Dick asks and then shakes his head. “No, after he changed.”

“Yes…after he changed, but it doesn’t matter what form he’s in. It’s not only curiosity of his new human body. I wanted to do things with Jason before too.” It feels good to finally be able to tell someone and John knows Dick won’t judge him. Dick’s just not the type.  

“I-” Dick stops and takes him under his wing, John buries his head in Dick’s feathers. “They were only stories. We don’t have much to go on either. We make it up as we go – like humans. If Jason is the one for you-”

“I think it’s both, Dick. Am I being greedy?” He whispers. 

“No, you’re not. There is nothing wrong with loving more than one person, John. I think it’s a good thing.” 

“But Jason likes Bruce too. I know he does. He might say that he changed because he wants to be a vigilante and that it’s easier in human form, safer too, but part of him changed for Bruce.”

“But he’s done things,” John can hear the smile in Dick’s voice, “with you.”

“He also hit on Miss Carrie,” John says. 

“He’s curious about women. Who can blame him?” Dick asks. 

“He’s only being himself. I know.” John snuggles a bit closer still. “What do I do now, Dick?” 

“You want to be with both of them, right?” 

“Yes.”

“But you’re not sure you can be, as they seem to like each other?” 

“Yes.”

“And that’s why you don’t change. You’re afraid of losing what you have,” Dick says. 

“Yes,” John repeats. 

“But this doesn’t make you happy either, John.” 

“So, you say I should throw caution to the wind and change?” 

“It’s your decision, but living in fear, John? That is not a wise decision.” 

“I won’t be able to fly anymore…”

“You don’t know that,” Dick says. 

“I’m not Tim. I knew my mother and my father, even if he was no good, Dick. They were birds. Both of them.” 

“Just because you won’t have wings, doesn’t mean you won’t be able to fly,” Dick says. 

“And what about you? You don’t seem to want to change?” 

Dick shrugs. “Right now I don’t.” 

Must be nice, John thinks, to know what you want. 

 

~+~  
“If you were human,” Jason says, “I could touch you in return.” He’s holding his hand out and John gives in and settles into his palm. Let’s Jason stroke his finger gently over his head and back, his wings. 

“You are touching me,” John points out.

“It’s different with skin and besides you’re so tiny now. I could crush you,” he whispers. His voice sounds rough and a bit dangerous. 

“I know you won’t,” John says. 

“We can’t play rough anymore.”

“You play rough with Bruce,” John replies. 

Jason’s fingers tighten a bit around John’s body. It’s not painful, but it is constricting. He couldn’t get away even if he wanted to. “It’s different with Bruce. It’s all about falling right, kicking right, and punching right. It’s a different kind of touch. Sometimes I miss my beak and claws. Sometimes I just want to make him bleed,” Jason says. 

“Sometimes you just want to snuggle close and feel someone else’s heartbeat next to yours,” John whispers and half expects to hear Jason snort, denying it. 

“Yeah…” he says instead.


	11. Chapter 11

**~six~**  
“I’m just worried Bruce,” Miss Carrie says. John is perched outside the open window looking like any ordinary bird. People like to overlook small, ordinary seeming things. 

“Carrie-”

“He is obviously brilliant, he fixed my phone in minutes, but he is walking around naked, Bruce. And how old is that boy? 12? 13? He shouldn’t be walking naked around the manor or grounds. He should be in school, playing with friends.” 

“Tim isn’t comfortable with people, Carrie. You know that. He told you.”

She nods. “Yes and I know Tim’s and Jason’s parents are dead, but Bruce. You’re barely home and Tim, Tim at least, needs someone to look out for him.” 

“He’s not crazy or anything. And he has Jason and Alfred,” Bruce replies firmly. 

“Alfred might be too old to raise another child, Bruce.” 

“I can be home more often, cut back on the social life.” 

She looks at him hard and long. “You want to adopt these boys?” 

Bruce nods. Once sharply. John wonders if Bruce has been thinking about it for some time now or if Miss Carrie’s words made him decide on the spot. 

“Yes,” he says. “Yes, I want to adopt these boys. They’re practically family anyway.” 

John isn’t sure he likes that. Family. But then they are family by choice and not blood. And he doesn’t think Bruce will want them to call him ‘dad’. Maybe the problem is that Bruce can only adopt the humans, and not the birds. Which would leave Dick and him out of the family... Bruce would only claim Tim and Jason as his own. 

“Oh, Bruce,” Miss Carrie says. “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” 

“You’re too young to be a mother,” Bruce answers smiling.  

“I am, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t grow into it-”

“Carrie,” Bruce says gently. 

“I know. This was all about the fun for you. I knew from the start,” she replies. “At least get the boy a teacher who isn’t easily shocked. There is only so much you can learn from the internet and the musty books you have lying around.” 

Miss Carrie likes Tim, John realizes. She really cares about him, even if Tim made it hard for her. But he did fix Miss Carrie’s phone and let her sit in the same room while he was playing around with computer parts.   
“You can visit him any time, Carrie,” Bruce says, because he knows too. 

She nods. “I’ll hold you to that.” 

John thinks Tim would really like that.

~+~  
“Adoption?” Tim asks as soon as Bruce enters the room. 

“I see, someone was spying,” Bruce replies. 

John nods. “You knew I was there anyway.”

Bruce smiles, because of course he did. “Yes, adoption. If you want it.” 

John has the feeling that Bruce would really like to make them all his own. Make them a family, including himself into theirs.   
“Not sure…” Tim says.   
Bruce doesn’t move or show his disappointment. Just waits Tim out. “I mean,” Tim continues, “I’m bound to be human for my whole life. And what about John and Dick?” 

“I can’t adopt birds, but that doesn’t mean they can’t stay here or be family. I just don’t want anyone to claim you. I know you know that someone will say something – sooner than later even – about you and Jason being here. Visitors can only stay so long. Even if I am Bruce Wayne, eccentric billionaire.” 

“I’m in,” Jason says from the balcony. He’s leaning against the railing, smoking, his feet bare. “Won’t call you daddy, unless you want me to,” he finishes as he exhales smoke. 

“Jason,” Tim says. 

“Nothing else to do. I know enough about the human world to know that if it’s not Bruce it will be someone else or an institution. I don’t even have a birth certificate.” 

“I know people,” Bruce says. 

“Of course you do,” Jason replies. There’s a wry smile in his voice. 

“I need to think about this,” Tim says. 

Bruce nods. “Of course. I can hold anyone off who would’ve want to claim you in any way.” 

“If John and Dick would chose to change too, you would adopt them as well, right?” Tim asks. 

“Of course,” Bruce answers. “This is your home, all of you, as long as you want to stay.” 

Tim nods. 

~+~  
“And you’re still a bird,” Jason says that evening, exhaling smoke.

“Leave me alone,” John replies. 

“You should try ‘fuck off’,” Jason says. 

“As if that would make you go away,” John looks at him meaningfully. 

Jason looks back and then grins. “It won’t, you’re stuck with me.”

“For the most part I don’t mind,” John admits. 

“So, why are you still are bird, John? I know you want to jump Wayne’s bones. I know you’re curious about skin and human bodies and all kinds of other things. What are you afraid of?”

Losing everything, John thinks, but doesn’t voice. Jason doesn’t have to know everything. “Nothing.” 

“Right. I thought you would turn right then and there as you realized that Tim and I will be Wayne’s family, legally, but you won’t. I know you have a possessive streak deep down. Maybe I should start calling him ‘daddy’,” Jason muses. 

“You’re being a dick,” John replies. 

“That’s what brothers are for,” Jason says. 

“Are we only brothers Jason?” John dares to ask. “Because sometimes it feels like more.” All the time, at least for me, he thinks. “And why are you messing around with Bruce then?”

“I wish he would let me ‘mess around with him’,” Jason answers. 

“Why, Jason, why? Because you’re curious? Because you like him? Because you know that I like him?” 

“Because he’s Wayne for god’s sake!” Jason says. 

“Fuck,” John says. 

“Yeah,” Jason replies laughing. 

And that is the moment John realizes that all the teasing and giving John shit about not turning is Jason's way to ask for help: he's asking John to team up with him. Somehow John thinks he should have known. Jason has always been complicated. 

“You want to share,” John says. 

Jason takes another drag from his nearly burned down cigarette. “Yeah. I guess I do.” 

John nods, because there really isn't another answer to the unasked question.


	12. Chapter 12

**~seven~**  
It’s not like they have a plan of attack or anything and John’s change still hasn’t been triggered, but he is feeling a buzzing inside his body and wonders if that is what Jason had been feeling, what Tim has felt. It had happened so fast for Jason and Tim that they were not even aware of something happening. Maybe, John thinks, maybe I’m just a freak of nature. 

“It’s because you’re still fighting it,” Dick says. 

“I’m not.”

“You can’t really _will_ it to happen,” Dick replies. 

“So, what should I do? Just wait?” John asks. They’re flying in circles over where Jason and Tim are lying in the shadows of the trees. Both of them naked. Tim is scribbling something that isn’t words on a sheet of paper and Jason looks like he’s sleeping. Miss Carrie gave Tim the paper and pen. 

“Watch him jerk off,” Jason says. 

Dick gives him a look. “Jason.”

“I know where baby humans come from,” Tim throws in. 

“Of course you do,” Dick replies. 

“He’s been watching a lot of the Discovery Channel lately,” Jason says. “But jerking off is not about making baby humans,” he adds. 

“I know, it’s all about feeling good and stuff,” Tim replies and goes back to his scribbling. He isn’t interested in sex and John is glad that’s one problem Tim doesn’t have and that when the time comes it will be Bruce’s duty to have the talk. Somehow John really can’t imagine that. 

“I can’t spy on Bruce,” John says. 

“I don’t know,” Tim throws in, “He’s spying on everyone. I think it would only be fair.” 

“Blessed be Tim’s analytical mind,” Jason replies, grinning.   
John glares.

“Don’t let Jason rile you up. It happens when you’re ready,” Dick assures him. 

John nods. Dick has never lied to him.   
   
~+~  
John doesn’t spy on Bruce, but he watches and there is something in Bruce’s movements that wasn’t there before. A kind of restlessness when he’s around Jason and Jason is being – flirty, himself. It’s like watching a car-crash that is about to happen. You know it will happen, but you can’t do anything except stare in horrified fascination. 

 

~+~  
John watches as Bruce slams Jason against the hard brick wall in a dark alley. He has no idea why he even followed them on their first patrol together, maybe because he was worried, maybe because he wanted to. It doesn’t really matter.  

Jason is grinning and there is blood on his gauntlets. He beat up three guys while Batman had been busy and even John knows Jason had been ruthless.   
“They deserved it,” Jason says before Batman can start a lecture. 

“They’re probably crippled now, J-” he stops, because they still don’t have a name for Batman’s new sidekick. And it wouldn’t do anyone any good to let people know Jason’s name. John flies closer, letting them know he’s there. He isn’t afraid that Batman will hurt Jason, not really, but he doesn’t want this to get out of hand either. 

“So? They will think twice about trying that shit again, won’t they?” Jason asks. 

Batman’s gaze is hard on him. It makes John shiver and he knows it does all kinds of things to Jason as well. John lands smoothly on Jason’s shoulder, leaning his head against Jason’s neck.   
“Maybe you should talk about this at home?” He whispers.   
Batman looks at him and his eyes go a bit softer. He nods.

~+~  
There isn’t much talking back at the cave, because Jason gets out of the car and runs. John follows. They end up on the grounds, the wilder parts where there are trees and bushes. High grass.   
Jason sheds the uniform as he runs until he’s naked and still running. John flies as close to him as he dares without them colliding.   
When Jason finally stops he falls into the high grass and stares up at the patch of sky visible between the leaves and branches. He’s laughing. And panting and touching himself, running his hands over his body like he can’t stop. 

And John just wants to be a part of this. He takes a breath, squeezes his eyes shut and when he opens them the world looks different. Sharper and less sharp at the same time. He feels a chill on his _skin_. He reaches out, losing his balance, and lands on his knees in the grass, so close to Jason he can smell the sweat on Jason’s body. 

“Finally,” Jason says. It’s a harsh whisper and he grabs John’s hand, dragging him down over his own body. He is warm and damp and alive. So alive. John can feel _everything_ : Skin against his own, Jason's breath against his neck, Jason’s fingers in his hair and around his wrist. Jason’s thighs. His cock. His laugh against John’s lips as he kisses him.   
John can only moan and pant. His senses are on overdrive. He lets his free hand run through the grass and then slide against Jason’s sides, his ribcage, his arm – feeling the skin and soft hairs there -, Jason’s shoulder. He's digging his blunt nails into Jason’s shoulder and Jason moans for it, grabs him by his hip and pulls him closer still. In his bird form he would’ve been crushed by now, but in this body it only all feels good.   
And then Jason’s tongue is in his mouth and Jason is moving under him and urging John to move with him, so their bodies can slide against each other. Oh, John thinks, that is what all this is about and it feels amazing. It’s even better finally being able to do it with Jason. 

Jason bites John’s lip as John comes, shaking against him and then wraps his arms around John, holding him there, holding him close, pressed to his own body.   
He kisses John’s neck, his cheek until John lifts his head and they can kiss again. Slow and gentle.   
“Wanna get me off now?” Jason asks, his voice is breathy and it goes straight to John’s dick. 

“Yes?” It’s only a half-question. He does want to get Jason off, he just doesn’t know how Jason wants him to do it. Jason grabs his hand and licks it, John shivers, and makes John wrap his hand around his cock. 

“Just move it up and down, I’m so close it won’t need any finesse,” Jason grits out and John does just what he’s told. He’s torn between watching his own hand on Jason’s cock and Jason’s face, but in the end Jason’s face wins. He’s seen Jason come before, but never like this, never so close he could taste it on his own lips, never being the cause of Jason’s pleasure. It makes John feel powerful and fragile at the same time. 

Jason comes clinging to John’s back and biting John’s shoulder. It hurts, but it’s a faint pain, buried under all the pleasure that’s cursing through his veins.

~+~  
After John’s kissed the breath out of Jason, he just lies in the grass and feels. Jason is propped up on one elbow and looking down at him. Stroking a finger over John’s chest.   
“I thought it would be Wayne,” he says. 

“It has always been you, Jason,” John answers, because there will never be a better time to say this than now. 

“But now it’s Wayne too,” Jason says. 

“Yes, now it’s Bruce too,” John replies and sits up so he can kiss Jason again. Kissing might be the best thing about being human yet, he thinks. 

“He likes you. I bet he will love you, be enchanted by you in this form as soon as he sees you. You don’t have all the edges I have, that just beg to cut something – or someone.” 

John kisses him again, gently, because he has no idea what to say to this. Jason knows he isn’t a bad person, but he also knows he has issues. John knows it all too. They don’t need to talk about it. “He loves you too. As he pushed you against the wall…I thought, he would rip you apart or-”

“Fuck me senseless?” Jason cuts in amused. 

“I was going to say ‘kiss’, but yeah,” John replies. 

“Maybe I just need to push a bit harder,” Jason says. 

“Maybe he just needs to _see_ us,” John replies. 

Jason smiles. A bit dangerous, a lot happy.


	13. Chapter 13

**Part Three:**

**~one~**  
“We were worried, Master Jason, Master John,“ Alfred says, looking down at them. John blinks up at him. It's still dark out and John has no idea where he is or how late it is for a few seconds, until it all comes back as Jason's hand brushes against his side. He smiles. His brain starts to work, his internal clock too. 

“It's pretty late,” he says. “I'm sorry.”

“Or early,” Alfred replies: the smile is in his eyes. 

“I'm not,” Jason says and stretches. All the places they touch tingle and are on fire. John wants to rub his body all over Jason's because it feels so good. 

“Will you come back inside now?” Alfred asks, ignoring Jason. 

“Is Wayne freaking out?” Jason asks. 

“Master Bruce doesn't 'freak out',” Alfred answers smoothly. 

“Right. He’s just pacing and staring longingly into the shadows,” Jason says. 

Alfred smiles for real this time. “He would appreciate it if you were inside, I am sure.” 

“He likes to know where the people he cares about are,” John says. 

“Yes,” Alfred replies. “And I like to make breakfast for boys,” he adds just as John’s stomach rumbles. 

“Hmmm,” he says getting up. 

Jason stands up too. “Pancakes,” he says. 

“I think I'll stick to whatever Tim's having for now,” John replies. 

Alfred doesn't sigh. “Worm salad it is then and a muffin.” 

John nods. 

~+~  
The grass is tickling his calves as they walk back and Jason’s presence is warm and close by. John wants to hold his hand, but he doesn’t. It will be okay once they dragged a bed into their room where he can curl up with Jason and sleep. Feel all that skin and map it out with his lips and tongue. He wonders what Bruce will taste like, if he ever gets to find out at all.   
He glances over at Jason and Jason grins. It will be alright, John thinks, it’s not like he has to do it alone. 

“Wonder why he didn’t look for us himself,” John whispers as they enter the manor. 

“Probably knew we needed some alone time, or he was afraid of what he’ll find if he looked,” Jason whispers back. 

John nods.   
   
~+~  
Bruce stares. John feels uncomfortable and hot under that gaze. The silence stretches until Alfred enters and says: “Will Master John require clothing?”   
Bruce blinks and then looks away from John and Jason, who's lounging against the window. 

“I don't know,” John says. 

“Very well, maybe you could start with-”

“I'll take care of John,” Jason says and it's more for Bruce’s sake than Alfred’s, Alfred isn’t ruffled by anything anyway, John knows. Bruce knows too. There is a not very well hidden double meaning in the words. Bruce hears it as well. 

“Very well, Master Jason,” Alfred replies. “Would you like some tea with your salad, Master John?” He asks. 

John nods. He hasn't had any hot tea ever. So he is curious. Tim seems to like it well enough. Jason isn't a big fan. “Thank you, Alfred.” 

“It's a pleasure,” Alfred says and leaves them alone again. 

John wants to move closer to Bruce, but he's like a wall. Now John knows how Jason must have felt all the time. Being constantly blocked must have been so frustrating. He glances at Jason and Jason shrugs, holding out his hand, so John goes over to him. 

“You changed,” Bruce states the obvious, watching them. 

“Yes,” John replies, leaning against Jason. 

Bruce is still looking at him like he's a particularly difficult puzzle. John is not. It's all really simple. “You look younger than I thought you would be.” 

“You thought about John's human body?” Jason asks and there is only curiosity in his voice. No hint of mocking. 

“Why did you think I would be older?” John wants to know. 

“You seemed so mature during our conversations,” Bruce answers. 

“Dick is the oldest and Tim's the youngest,” John says. 

“It didn't show at all in your other form.” 

“This is our form now, Wayne,” Jason says firmly. 

Bruce looks at him. “You're going to stay like this forever?” 

“Well, we will stay human, but we won't stay like this,” Jason answers, waving his hand indicating their bodies. “We grow and get older.” 

Bruce nods. 

“Are you okay?” John asks. 

Bruce seems surprised by that question. “I wasn't sure if you would change, John.” 

John frowns. “It seems like you aren't too happy about it,” he replies. 

“It's obviously something that you wanted to happen and you and Jason-”

Jason laughs. “Oh man, you're so stupid.”

“Excuse me?” Bruce says. His voice is calm, but that doesn’t mean anything. John just knows that no one who really knows Bruce Wayne would have called him stupid.

“Yes, obviously John and I, and also you,” Jason says, fishing out a cigarette from somewhere and lighting it. Taking a deep drag. 

“Me?”

“You,” Jason repeats. 

“I don’t under-”

“Oh, spare me that!” Jason cuts in, “You know I want to jump your bones.” 

Bruce looks at him hard. Bruce, Batman, is clever, he knows what he wants to know, John realises. And he is human, he ignores what he doesn’t want to face. Especially when it comes to _his_ feelings.  
“John turned for you, Jason. I know you two had had sex.” It’s a simple statement of facts, but it sounds a bit like an accusation to John. 

“Yeah, we had sex. It was glorious. You should have been there,” Jason replies. 

Bruce’s eyes narrow. He’s angry now. He doesn’t want to be angry at Jason, but Jason can push his buttons. Jason grins. He’s out for blood. He wants Bruce to lose it, but John doesn’t think Bruce will. If Jason were older, maybe. But they’re kids in Bruce’s eyes. 

“I don’t want to wait for you to see us, Bruce,” John says softly. 

“How can I not see you, John?” Bruce asks, he sounds utterly honest.  

“As an equal,” John answers.   
Bruce keeps silent and is saved by Alfred entering with a tray. It smells delicious. John’s stomach makes a noise again. 

“I take it Master John will stay in this room?” Alfred asks. 

“Yes,” John says. 

“We need a second bed then,” Alfred replies. 

“I’ll help you with it, Alfred. Let the boys eat,” Bruce says. 

Alfred nods.   
John wants to say something, but knows now is not the time. Bruce needs to think and John is really hungry and tired. It’s not like Bruce can avoid them forever, after all they’re living in the same house now.   
He sits down on the floor and grabs for the salad, Jason joins him just a few seconds later.


	14. Chapter 14

**~two~**  
“It’s like he collects cute boys,” Miss Carrie says looking at John. 

John blushes a bit. It's a strange feeling. The concept of it so foreign. “Uhm..thank you?” John replies. 

She laughs. “No need for that,” she says and goes to ruffle his hair, but he avoids her touch smoothly. “Oh…I’m sorry.”

“No, just. I don’t-”

“It’s okay, really. Personal space bubble, I get it. Different for everyone and your brother Tim?” She says, and the word 'brother' leaves her lips so easily that it makes John's heart feel warm, “His is huuuuuge.”

“He likes you,” John blurts out. 

“Yeah?” 

He ducks his head. “Yeah. He likes that you don’t treat him like a kid and that you can just sit and be silent and let him do his thing. He-”

“Likes to have me around,” she finishes and her smile it brilliant. She is genuinely happy about it.   
John smiles back. “I got him a present, it’s a bit old-school, but I hope he’ll like it.” She takes out a multicolored cube and shows it to John. 

John raises an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“I feel so old, John,” she says. “It’s a game for the brain.”

“He likes things that make him think,” John replies. 

“I know and I have two so we can play it together and I have to say, I am really good at this,” she puts the cube away and winks at John. “Is he in the library?” 

“Yes,” John answers. 

“John?” 

“Yes, Miss Carrie?” 

“Are you going to stay here too?” 

“As long as he lets me, yes.”

“If I were him I wouldn’t let any of you go. Ever.”

“Even Jason?” John asks with a smile. 

“Especially Jason. He makes life exciting!” 

John can’t argue that. Not at all. 

 

~+~  
It seems Bruce can avoid them well enough. He just leaves the manor for a few days because he has business in the city.   
Jason calls bullshit on that.   
They run a lot on the grounds and Jason shows him a few of the tricks Bruce taught him and they have sex in the wilder parts of the garden. Never in the house. It doesn’t feel right for John doing it there and Jason doesn’t seem to care where they have sex. 

“So? Glad you’re human?” Jason asks, kissing a trail from John’s spent cock over his stomach to his neck. 

“Yes,” John answers, his fingers are combing through Jason’s hair. “Are you going to punch Bruce in the face as soon as he comes home?” 

“That idea crossed my mind, but I’m not sure it would help my cause.” 

“He thinks he’s too old for us,” John says. 

“No shit,” Jason grins against his skin and then licks the sweat right off of it. Sometimes it feels like Jason wants to devour him whole. It’s not as scary of a thought as it maybe should be. 

“Do you think we’re too young for him?” 

“You’re kidding right?” Jason asks. “Do you want to wait another few years? And besides, the age difference won’t get less just because we're getting older.”

“But we won’t be kids anymore.” 

“We aren't kids now. We weren't kids since the day our parents died, John.” Jason is right and John knows it. “Wayne has issues,” Jason adds. 

No shit, John thinks and strokes Jason’s hair a bit more. 

~+~  
“You’re alright now, aren’t you?” Dick asks. 

“Yes, I am. Dick it’s amazing to be able to do all the things I can do now,” he smiles. “But I miss flying with you,” he admits. 

“I miss flying with you too,” Dick says and lets John stroke his feathers, his head, his wings. They feel so soft and Dick seems so small and fragile in John’s hand. Dick leans into the touch and sighs in content. “This feels really good.” 

“It feels amazing with skin too,” John says. 

“John,” Dick begins and John knows it’s coming, but it doesn’t make this any easier. He keeps silent and waits for Dick to continue. “I would like to leave, for a while.” 

“I know,” John says. “Did you talk to Jason and Tim already?” 

“Yes. Jason says it’s no big deal and Tim…well, he knows he’s safe here. Knows you two and Bruce will look out for him.”

“Dick-”

“I will come back, it’s just that I’ve never been anywhere and it’s in my nature to want to be everywhere. See everything. Be like-”

“A leaf in the wind,” John finishes for him, because he remembers the stories Dick told them when they were small all too well. 

“Yes,” Dick replies. “I will come back and I will let you know where I am, when I can.”

“I know,” John says, but he still doesn't want Dick to go. “When?”

“When Bruce comes back. I need to make sure he will look out for you. That he will be there for you when I am not,” Dick says, looking up at John. He’s always so honest with his feelings. John admires that. 

“We’ll be fine. We have each other.”

“I know,” Dick says. “Try to make Tim go out more?”

“We can’t promise anything more than to do our best when it comes to Tim and clothes,” John answers.  

“Your best has always been good enough for me, John,” Dick says. 

John leans down and kisses his head. He smells like leaves and wind and freedom. For a second John is painfully aware of what he lost, but then he gets a grip, he didn’t lose his freedom at all. It’s just a different kind. 

“I will miss you.”

“I will miss you too,” Dick whispers. 

 

~+~  
John doesn't know what Dick and Bruce talk about exactly as Bruce finally comes home, but Dick seems to be okay with whatever it is.   
Dick leaving still makes John sad, but he knows it’s something Dick needs to do, what he deserves to have. And Dick always made sure that they were happy. It’s their turn now to make sure Dick is as happy as he can be.

“Write us postcards,” Jason says.

“Funny,” Dick replies, but he’s laughing. There’s something small around his leg that looks like a bracelet. “Bruce will know where I am,” he lifts his leg so they can see it better.

“It’s a tracker,” Tim says. “You put a tracker on Dick! That’s-” he shuts his mouth. 

“Brilliant?” Jason asks. 

“Yeah, maybe, but also…humiliating?” Tim asks. 

“Nah, it's fine. It's not uncomfortable or anything and I know you would’ve been worried otherwise. So you will know where I am and that I’m fine.”

Tim holds out his hand for Dick and Dick flies over to settle in his palm. “I get that you need to do what you need to do and I’m sorry we made you look out for us and-”

“Tim, you didn’t make me do anything. I wanted you to be my family. I love you. All of you.”   

“Okay,” Tim says and presses Dick gently against his naked chest.

“Try to go out more, yeah?” 

Tim shrugs. “I’ll get a teacher who isn’t too easily shocked. Maybe I’ll try when there is nothing else to learn here.” 

“It’s all I can ask for, really,” Dick says. 

Jason takes Dick out of Tim’s hand and goes outside. John doesn’t follow, neither does anyone else.   
He doesn’t ask what they were talking about later either. Jason will tell him, or he won’t. It doesn’t matter, John trusts Jason.   
   
~+~  
“Will you leave us again?” Tim asks Bruce at dinner. 

“No,” Bruce answers, but he’s only looking at Tim right now. He is still trying to keep a distance and Tim is a safe person to do that with, because Tim likes to keep his distance too. 

“Good. We need you here,” Tim says. 

“I know,” Bruce replies. 

They eat in silence, the absence of Dick still heavy on their minds.   
   
~+~  
John curls up with Jason in the big bed and lifts the blanket as he hears Tim’s footsteps on the hardwood floor. 

“It’s only for tonight,” Tim says. 

“We don’t mind, Tim,” John replies. 

“The bed is big enough for all of us,” Jason throws in, putting an arm around Tim. 

Tim snuggles closer. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” John says yawning. 

“Sleep now, little wing,” Jason whispers and Tim snuggles closer and closes his eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

**~three~**  
John wakes up from his nap to Bruce looking down at him. His gaze is fixed somewhere on John’s collarbone. John stretches and smiles. 

“You’re back,” he says.

“Yes. Tim’s new teacher is scheduled for today.” 

John sits up and nods. “I want to meet him too.”

“Put on some pants.” Bruce says. 

John makes a face. Tim is right clothes are a pain. “Just pants?” 

“Yes, I won’t make you more uncomfortable than you are if I can help it,” Bruce answers. 

“Okay,” John says, getting up from the couch and looking for his lose pants. They are soft and blue, but they still feel foreign. He wonders how Jason can stand the sidekick uniform at all, because it’s hard and heavy. “Did you decide on a name for your-” he stops, “for Jason when he’s your partner in crime?” he settles on. 

“Not yet. It has to come from him, John.” 

“How did you come up with Batman?” 

“Bats frighten me and I wanted my enemies to feel that fear as well,” Bruce answers. 

“Jason wasn’t frightened at all. He thought you were crazy and kinda cool.” 

Bruce laughs and it sounds like it has been ripped out of him. “Of course he wasn't frightened. He isn’t afraid of anything.”

“That’s not true,” John says softly. Bruce has to know that. Everyone is afraid of something. 

“Hmm,” Bruce replies, which isn’t a reply at all. 

“I’m ready,” John says. “Let’s meet the guy.” He turns to Bruce and smiles. “Did you tell him that Tim doesn’t wear clothes and that he’s smarter than anyone else, basically?” 

“I might have left a few details out.” 

“Ah, you want to test his reactions,” John says, nodding. 

“Sink or swim,” Bruce replies, smiling. 

~+~  
Mr Smith looks young and bookish, John thinks. And he's probably trying to decide if Bruce is joking or not. 

“Tim this is Mister Smith, Mister Smith, my son Tim,” Bruce says. 

Tim looks Mr Smith over. Mister Smith doesn't smile, but neither does Tim, so John thinks it's okay. Bruce just observes and John tries to figure out what Tim is looking for in a teacher. In a person, in a human.   
Tim cocks his head and grabs the Rubik’s cube, tossing it to Mr Smith without a word and then takes the other one, the one Miss Carrie usually plays with. 

“I'll start the time,” Alfred says from the door. He's done it often enough. He puts the tray he's holding on a side-table and looks at his watch. “On three, gentlemen,” he says. “One, two, three.”   
Tim concentrates on his cube and a second later Mr Smith does the same.   
Mr Smith doesn't win, but he finishes only one minute after Tim and Tim has been playing daily for some time now. 

“Do you know anything about computers, Mr Smith?” Tim asks, still keeping his distance, but he isn't hostile. 

“Yes,” Mr Smith says. He isn't the joking around type of guy, John can tell. Straightforward and to the point, like Tim. 

“Do you have any questions?” Tim asks. 

“One,” Mr Smith says. “Do you ever wear clothes?” 

“No,” Tim answers. 

“Very well,” Mister Smith says and takes his laptop out. “Is there a room for this or are we just going to stay here?” 

“The library is fine and Bruce and John usually don't bother me when I'm playing around,” Tim replies. 

Mr Smith nods. 

~+~  
“Seems to me, Mr Smith is a good swimmer, especially in foreign waters,” John says as they sit down in the kitchen. 

Bruce smiles, “I hoped he would be.” 

“You checked his background and he is clean, right?” Jason asks from the door. John didn't hear him even entering. He's really good in form. 

“Of course,” Bruce answers. 

“Just making sure. You know he is special and dear to us,” it comes out a bit mocking, but that is just Jason's way of showing he cares. Because he is dead-serious under all the wit and charm and deflection.

“He is dear to me too, you all are,” Bruce says. 

Jason nods. “Give me some of that delicious worm salad,” he replies and sits down with them at the kitchen-table. Sure it's hot when Bruce and Jason are at each other's throats, John thinks, but this is nice too. He likes it when they're being normal – for them. 

~+~  
“Final verdict is still out,” Tim says later that night. Jason and Bruce cut the patrol short, because apparently there wasn't that much to do tonight and they settled into the big bed.   
Tim is still sleeping with them and they don't make him leave. 

“But you think he's okay?” John asks. 

“For a human. He is smart and quick,” Tim answers. 

“And isn't freaked out by you being naked all the time,” Jason says. 

“Humans and their clothes,” Tim replies with a small smile. 

Jason laughs. “They're not that bad.”   
Yeah, John thinks, Jason seems to like clothes. Even the hard and heavy sidekick uniform. Maybe especially the sidekick uniform. 

“I find them itchy and constricting,” Tim says. 

“When did you ever wear clothes?” John wants to know. 

“I tried on Jason's uniform,” Tim shrugs. 

“It’s not meant for you. It's too big and heavy. You would need something lighter, more suited to your body,” Jason says. 

John doesn't like where this is going. “What about other clothes? The stuff I'm wearing?” He asks. 

Tim shrugs again. “I don't know. Being naked feels natural.” 

“But if you're naked you can't go out and explore the world, Tim,” John says. 

“But I can turn any time and just fly and explore the world that way,” Tim replies stubbornly. 

“It's not the same,” Jason says. 

“It's enough for now,” Tim answers snuggling closer to John.   
They don't argue that. Tim will leave when he's ready and he obviously isn't ready just yet. All they can do is wait and encourage.


	16. Chapter 16

**~four~**  
Bruce is still avoiding them as much as he can. Jason finds it ridiculous and kind of funny, John just finds it stupid. 

“Something needs to be done,” John says. 

“Not going to argue that,” Jason replies, “What do you have in mind?” 

John shrugs, playing with his salad. They're alone, eating outside, because Tim is with Mr Smith and Bruce is nowhere to be found. “Honesty and offering didn't work, maybe we need a more direct approach,” he says. 

“More direct than telling Wayne we want to jump his bones?”

“He needs to understand that we aren't kids anymore, Jason.” 

“I think he knows that, but something inside him wants us to have a happy childhood, maybe because he didn't have one. And I wonder about that, you know? True his parents have been murdered right in front of him, but he's been raised by Alfred and Alfred is a good, decent, loving person.” 

“I know. But it's not like he can prevent us from growing up like we want to, like we have to. We are real human beings, nearly adults, mostly formed. There isn't much he can do anymore.” 

“He can deny us himself,” Jason points out. 

“I know he wants us, I know it Jason,” John says frustrated. 

“Yeah, well...a more direct approach would be to _jump_ his bones,” Jason says jokingly. 

John looks at him. “It might be harder for him to say no if he finds us naked and willing in his bed.” 

“You're not kidding about this, are you?” Jason asks, but he knows the answer, because he knows John. 

“No, I'm not,” John answers anyway. 

~+~  
The night is hot and Bruce left the window open. John can smell the night-flowers from the garden. His bare feet make only a soft sound on the hardwood floor of Bruce's room.   
It's pitch-black because the heavy drapes are drawn. John really wonders for a second why Bruce opens a window, but closes the drapes before he hears a shift on the bed.

“Can't you sleep, John?” Bruce asks. 

John should have known that his presence would wake Bruce, if he was even sleeping. “No.” He says and then, “It's my birthday.”

“I didn’t know.”

“We didn't tell you, that’s why,” John interrupts. 

“John, what are you doing here?” Bruce asks. His voice is heavy and syrupy in a way it only is at night. It makes John feel tingly all over. 

“He’s sixteen now,” Jason says from his place on the windowsill. 

Bruce doesn't turn around. He only looks at John and listens. “Jason, I don't understand-”

“Yes you do,” Jason cuts in. 

“The age of consent is sixteen, Bruce, I looked it up,” John says gently and steps closer to the bed. “I've been having sex with Jason for some time now, but you wouldn't touch me-”

“I haven't touched Jason either and he is older than you, John,” Bruce says, running a hand over his face and head, rubbing his neck. 

“We aren't children, so don't treat us like such,” John says. 

“John, you've only been human for a few months now, you can't possibly know what you want-”

“But I turned for you! You don't just turn for anybody!” 

“Jason did,” Bruce says.   
John bites his lip. Jason is Jason. And Jason's reasons are his own. 

“I didn't only turn because I was so god damned angry, Wayne, I did it because I was so angry at _you_. Don't you see?” He opens the drapes and Bruce turns to look at him. There isn't much light inside or outside the room, but Jason's skin is pale and he looks so beautiful and deadly perched on the windowsill to Bruce's bedroom, it takes John's breath away. He really wonders how Bruce can deny himself that. How he is able to turn him away. 

“You are still young,” Bruce says. 

“Yes,” John replies before Jason can. “But we weren't kids for a long, long time now, Bruce. You of all people should know how that feels.” 

“We won't give up,” Jason says. “And for the record, your morals are screwed up. You train me to be a vigilante and fight crime, but you won’t fuck me. What happened to make love not war? Is that what you want us to learn about humanity?” 

“Jason-”

“I can kill a man in 37 different ways; don't you think I should at least know how to pleasure someone in as many, at least?” He jumps from the windowsill and lands smoothly, nearly silently on the floor. “And you can teach me that. I know you can,” he whispers.   
John waits, holding his breath. The tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

“Is this about curiosity?” Bruce eventually asks and John wants to hit him for that one. He has to know it's not, but maybe Bruce has more issues than they realized. 

“It's not,” Jason says gently. 

“What is it about then?” Bruce wants to know. 

“Love,” John blurts out. 

Jason snorts and then laughs. “Don't feel pressured or anything,” he says. 

“You do love us, right?” John asks. 

“Yes,” Bruce answers and it sounds broken, unhappy, like he thinks he shouldn't. 

“There isn't a wrong kind of love if you can be sure that the other person wants you too,” Jason says, because he gets Bruce in a way John doesn't, yet. “And we want you. Badly.” 

“Jason...” Bruce says, his hand is twitching on the bed like he wants to reach out. 

“Can we stay here? For a while?” John asks. 

“We won't try anything,” Jason says. “Promise.” 

Bruce laughs. “Fine,” he says. 

John walks over and settles carefully on Bruce's left side and watches as Jason settles on his right.   
Bruce is wearing pyjama pants but nothing more and John's fingers itch to touch him. He keeps his hands to himself. 

“We won't sleep here,” John whispers. 

“I know,” Bruce says. “Tim needs you.”   
John isn't even surprised that Bruce knows that Tim is sleeping in their bed since Dick left. 

“We'll be back tomorrow night,” Jason says, it's half a promise, half a threat. 

“I know,” Bruce replies and John leans over and kisses his shoulder gently. Bruce tenses up under his lips. 

“It'll be alright, you'll see,” he whispers and Bruce relaxes.


	17. Chapter 17

~five~  
They spend a few hours every night in Bruce's bed without anything happening. But they're brushing their hands and mouths against Bruce's body. Surly driving him crazy. Bruce lets them. 

“Are you testing your resolve?” Jason asks the second week in and kisses Bruce's shoulder. 

“Maybe,” Bruce answers. 

“How is it working so far?” He wants to know. John is watching fascinated. He knows that Jason is out for something more tonight. He's been restless more than usually lately. It must be all that unresolved sexual tension. 

“I didn't kiss you back once, did I?” 

“I think we make it too easy for you...” Jason answers and begins kissing a trail from Bruce's shoulder to his chest and farther down. “I like it that you indulge me here. Keep that up,” Jason whispers, working his way down and down until he can kiss around the fabric of the pyjama pants.   
Bruce's muscles are tense and his fingers are splayed against the sheets. Jason lifts his head. “How far will you let me go?”   
Bruce doesn't reply. Jason smiles. “This is not that much fun, without you at least trying to pin me down,” he says. 

“Jason!” John whispers harshly. He's turned on and knows Jason is too. By the look of it Bruce isn't immune to Jason's charms either. 

“Will you let me suck your dick?” Jason asks and Bruce takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “I think I'm pretty good, but you'll have to ask John if you want a second opinion.”

“He is,” John says quietly and Bruce turns his head to look at him. 

“Do you want to see this?” He asks. 

“Do you want it?” John asks in return. He wants Bruce to want it, he doesn't want Bruce to do this just because John and Jason want it badly. 

“More than I should,” Bruce admits and John kisses him. He's trying to make it a gentle kiss, but it's just not happening, all that passion inside John wants an outlet and Bruce just admitted to wanting them too. 

“Finally,” Jason hisses and yanks the pants down, Bruce's hands fist in the sheets. 

John is once more torn between wanting to watch Jason and kissing Bruce. He lets go of Bruce. “I'm sorry, I need to see this. I need to, Bruce,” he says harshly. 

Bruce grabs his hand, nodding his head as he lets out a moan and John looks down. Jason just licked Bruce's cock and is now sucking on the head. Bruce is still looking at John, he can feel Bruce's gaze on him, but John can't look away from Jason's perfect lips wrapped around Bruce's dick. Except for the breathing and the wet noises, it's completely silent until Bruce breaks it with a groan as he's about to come. Jason pulls off and finishes with his hand. 

“Next time,” he says and his voice sounds a bit rough, “You should pin me down and have your wicked way with me.”

“Or I could suck you,” John whispers. He wants to. 

“Maybe I will,” Bruce replies, wincing as Jason wipes his hand on his pyjama pants. 

Jason looks at him. “Don't promise us stuff just yet,” he mocks. 

“Stay for a bit?” Bruce asks. 

“Sure,” Jason answers easily. 

~+~  
By the time they have to go back to their room, they aren't that hard anymore, but they stop on their way to Tim to get each other off in the shower anyway. It's fast and hot and wet and dirty in the best way and John wants to do this every night until he dies. 

~+~  
They're back in Bruce's bed the next night, but it takes another week for Bruce to touch them back.   
His touches are careful and chaste, but John is sure that with time he will let go of that control he's so fond of and pin them down, leave marks and bruises on their bodies that they can trace later. 

The first time Bruce wraps his big hand around both John's and Jason's cock, John thinks he's going to come on the spot, but he doesn't because Bruce knows exactly what he's doing. He collects information even when he's having sex. Jason kisses John harshly, just to shut him up, because John can't stop making noises and bubbling filthy nonsense. John doesn't mind at all. There won't be a time where he doesn't want to feel Jason's lips on his skin.   
He comes as Bruce kisses his shoulder-blade clinging to Jason. 

~+~  
“So, you two are hooking up with Bruce now, hmm?” Tim says the next day after breakfast. He's sitting on the floor of the balcony. Jason is perched on the railing, smoking, John is close to Tim on the floor, back against the railing. They're alone. Bruce is in the city taking care of business and Alfred is in the kitchen doing only god knows what. 

“Seems so. He was playing hard to get long enough. I was going crazy with sexual frustration,” Jason smirks. 

“You do realise he is our dad, right?” Tim asks. 

“How very kinky of us then,” Jason replies and takes a deep drag from his cigarette. 

“You're such a dick,” Tim says. 

“Speaking off, how long has it been since we heard from him?” Jason asks. 

John tilts his head and does a quick calculation. “Nearly seven weeks.” 

Jason frowns. “Should we worry? How long was the longest without a proof of life?” 

“Seven weeks, four days,” Tim says. 

“So we shouldn't worry for another four to five days then?” Jason asks. 

“Maybe, but I'm sure if something was going on, Bruce would have told us,” John throws in. 

Jason nods, finishing his cigarette and putting it out against the railing again. “I need to ask for an ashtray,” he muses. 

“It would make Alfred's job easier,” John says. 

“And we don't want to make Alfred cry,” Jason replies. 

“Alfred doesn't cry,” Tim says, grinning. He jumps up and joins Jason on the railing. “I miss flying with Dick,” he adds. 

Jason and John nod.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, from now on the torture, implied bad stuff and threesome sex tags become relevant. There are things in the later chapters that I don't even know how to warn for, except for the feeling of _wrong_.

**Part Four:**

**~one~**  
“So, Bruce is being...elusive,” John says. 

Jason snorts, “You mean he's back to avoiding us.” 

“Not only you, he's avoiding me too,” Tim throws in. 

Jason looks at Tim. Bruce hasn't ever avoided Tim. There was no reason to. “He's hiding something,” he says. He sounds utterly convinced. 

“Can't be anything about the adoption, can it?” John asks. 

“I'll look into it,” Tim replies. “Will let you know.” 

“We can just ask,” John says. 

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Jason replies. 

~+~  
John catches Bruce on his way out the next morning. “Bruce.”

“I have a meeting this morning, can it wait until later?” Bruce asks. 

“Later when you have to do this lunch thing, or later when you're out on patrol, or later when you want to sleep? Until it's tomorrow and you ask me again if we can talk later? That later?” 

Bruce's eyes narrow. “Fine. But make it quick. I am really busy.”

“We were wondering if something isn't going right with the adoption,” John says. 

Bruce seems taken aback for a second before he shakes his head. “No, it's fine. Everything should be going alright.” 

“Oh, okay,” John says. 

“Why were you thinking that?” Bruce asks. 

“You've been weird lately. Distracted. You sent us away the other night and we-”

“It has nothing to do with you. I am just really busy. Working on an important case,” Bruce interrupts. 

“And that's why you let Jason go on patrol alone now?” 

“Yes, he is ready to handle the street thugs on his own, John,” Bruce replies. 

“Okay. Just wondering. You know, this could have been avoided by talking to us,” he says. 

“I'll try to keep it in mind.” 

John grabs him by his way too expensive shirt and drags him down so they can kiss. The shirt winkles where he has been holding on too tight. “We miss you,” he says. 

Bruce kisses him again. “I won't send you away tonight.” 

John smiles and pushes him slightly. “Go on then and earn more money that we don't need.”  
Bruce smiles. 

~+~  
Tim tells them and shows them the video.  
John can barely look at it. Has to turn away and close his eyes halfway through. Only listening to it is hard enough.  
He knows that Tim has seen it in full length and that Jason is watching it just because he's Jason and because it will fuel his anger, his wrath. 

“That's the only open case on his computer right now,” Tim says softly, but his voice is also hard. Watching this would do that to a feeling human being. “He's working on it day and night.” 

“He said it was important,” John whispers. 

“This is fucking life and death, John,” Jason grits out. His hands are balled to fists. 

“He isn't back yet,” Tim says, because he knows, like John, that Jason wants to talk to Bruce now. But there is no way they're going to do this over the fucking phone. 

“Try not to punch him,” John says. 

“I can't fucking promise that, John. He lied to us.” 

“Even I want to punch him,” Tim says quietly. 

John nods. It's the best he can hope for in this case. 

~+~  
They wait for Bruce in the entry-hall sitting on the stairs. Jason is chain smoking, but no one says anything about it, because it might be the only thing right now, that keeps him from going crazy. Or punching Bruce the second he comes through the door.  
Tim is playing with the Rubik's cube, keeping his hands occupied, John's are around the edge of the stairs. His knuckles are white. 

“Why didn't you tell us?” Tim asks as soon as Bruce opens the door. His voice is calm and controlled and way too dangerous for a kid his age. 

Jason takes another drag of his cigarette and doesn't get up. John knows this is his way to keep himself from punching Bruce in the face. He grabs Jason's free hand and squeezes hard.  
To his credit Bruce doesn't pretend he doesn't know what Tim is talking about. He puts his bag on the table and looks at them.  
“I'm working on it. And I thought you would be too emotionally compromised,” he answers. 

Jason laughs, it's not a nice sound. “Fuck you!” He spits. “Emotionally compromised? Doesn't even begin to cut it. We just watched as the only person on the fucking planet who ever loved us, took us in, gave us shelter and food and made us a _family_ is being held captive, tortured and experimented on! And you didn't tell us it was happening!” 

John can hear the betrayal in Jason's voice. Feels it too. They trusted Bruce, with their lives, with Dick's, and he kept it from them. Would have kept it for god only knows how long from them if Tim hadn't hacked into the Batcomputer. 

“This only proves my-”

“Don't,” John says quietly, because he can't listen to Bruce being rational. Even Tim isn't rational about this. No one should be rational about this. This shouldn't be happening in the first place. His fingers hurt where he grabs the edge of the stairs even harder. Jason winces slightly, but doesn't pull away from John's grip. John never has been so angry in his life. 

“I'm going to find him. I promise,” Bruce says firmly. 

“You still should have told us Bruce. Don't keep shit like that to yourself. Didn't you know that we would find out?” Tim asks. 

“I hoped you wouldn't have to-”

“Know? Because how would you explain how he looks? The bruises, the cuts, the scars. The fact that he's human? Have you watched this -” Jason cuts himself off, takes a deep breath. “Of course you have.” 

“I don't know, Jason! I just didn't want you to see it, didn't want you to have to deal with something like this, didn't want you to feel-”

“Like you're feeling?” John interrupts gently. He isn't angry at Bruce after all. 

Bruce only looks at him for a while that feels like an eternity. “I'll find him. I'll bring him back.” 

“You're not going to do this alone,” Tim replies. 

“He's ours,” Jason says in a voice that tells everyone in the room that he's done talking and that he wants to start ripping out hearts now. 

John can't blame him, because he feels the same way.


	19. Chapter 19

**~two~**  
Jason is obsessed with the video. He watches it every day and not only once. John is worried. “There’s nothing more you could possibly learn from watching this, Jason,” he says. 

“I don't-” he pauses. “I can’t stop. I need to memorize every single thing they did to Dick. Are doing to Dick right fucking now,” he slaps his hand so hard on the table that the whole thing shakes. And this is not cheap furniture. “Did you talk to Wayne?” he asks after a short silence. 

“Yes, he says he's working on it.” 

Jason makes a noise that can't be called human. There's something feral in his nature. Always has been, but now it shines through every pore. “How far is he?” 

“Maybe you should try to talk-”

“No,” Jason cuts in. “I can't even look at him right now without wanting to draw blood, John.” 

“Is that why you won't touch me?” 

Jason grits his teeth. “Are you fucking him?” 

“No, Jason I am not fucking him. He won't let me either-” 

“So you wanted to? You went to him?” 

“To sleep beside him, Jason. God. He’s not the enemy. He didn't fail us.” 

“He lied to us!” 

“To protect us, and I am not saying it was right of him. And you know it, but I get why he tried to shield us away from it. Do you think Dick would want us to know?”

“John-”

“Would you?” 

Jason turns around then and looks at John. “No,” he says. “I wouldn't want you to know either if it was me.” 

John nods. “I know this is hard for you, but you could try to talk to him.” 

“Not just yet. But I'm working on it,” Jason smirks. “Come here?” 

John does. 

~+~  
“As I see it, they want to trigger the change at will,” Tim says. 

“No shit, but what for?” 

“Parlour tricks?” Tim answers sharply. “I think they want to breed a new kind of-” he stops, swallows. 

“Us?” John finishes quietly. 

Tim nods, once sharply. “Yeah. I don't know what they would want bird-people for, scratch that, I don't want to know what is going on in their sick minds, okay? I know I should be able to, I should be able to get inside their minds, like Bru-,” he stops again, his face going hard, “like Batman, to be able to help. But I can't.” 

“I don't want you to,” Bruce says from the door. He looks exhausted.   
Jason lights a cigarette, so he has something to do with his fingers. It's a coping mechanism. And so far it's working. 

“But I can't be as effective if I can't get into these people's minds,” Tim replies. 

“Tim,” Bruce says, his voice is firm and gentle at the same time. 

“I get it, okay, I do, but I feel so-”

“Helpless,” John cuts in. 

“Yes.” 

“So, B., what do you have?” Jason asks. “Because I know this isn't a social call.” 

“A location. I wanted to ask if you want to; go, Jason.” 

“Hell yes!” 

“It's not a sure thing. I don't think we will find Dick there, but it's someone who’s associated with the people who might have Dick.” 

“Doesn't matter, if they know something I will make them talk,” Jason says. 

John wonders why Bruce wants to take Jason with him, he has to know that Jason is out for blood and that he doesn't care if these people have Dick or not. Broken bones are a sure thing. But maybe Jason needs that more than he needs anything else right now, and Bruce can give it to him, so he will, so he does. It's a scary thought. 

~+~  
“Thank you,” John says later when he can be sure that Tim and Jason are on the grounds, running. 

“For what?” Bruce asks. 

“For letting Jason beat the crap out of people. He needs that,” John answers. “And I know you don't like how rough he is sometimes and you must know that there will be broken bones and blood.” 

“I know.” 

“It scares me, you know?” 

“What Jason can do now? What I made him into?” Bruce asks. 

John shakes his head, “No, what you will overlook, what you will sacrifice for us.” 

“John-” 

“You'll have to look out for him. You'll have to keep him from doing too much damage,” John cuts in. He isn't sure Jason can see the imaginary line right now. It would be better to draw it in red marker. 

“I will, John. I promise.” 

John nods and leaves the study. 

~+~  
John misses talking to Dick. In situations like this, when he is unsure of what to do, he has always talked it through with Dick and everything seemed so much clearer. 

“You're brooding, Master John” Alfred says. “Only master Bruce should be brooding in this house.”

John smiles at him. “I'm worried about Dick, and I am worried about Jason and about Bruce too. He is crossing lines, lets Jason cross lines... I am not sure it's a good idea. I know he needs it, Jason, I mean, but-”

“But what if Master Bruce needs it too?” Alfred asks. 

“Yes.” 

“There is one line Master Bruce would never cross no matter what.” 

“And he won't let anyone else cross that line?” John asks. 

Alfred looks outside the window. “I always believed so.” 

John doesn't ask what Alfred believes now. “Do you think that us being here is more of a curse than a blessing?” He asks instead. 

Alfred turns to look John in the eye. John's curled up in one corner of the bed, his arms around his legs. He feels small and lost. He wants Dick back so he can hug John. “No, Master John. You being here is definitely a blessing.” 

John nods. “Thank you.” 

“You are welcome.” 

~+~  
John waits up for them in the cave with a worm-salad and Tim is typing away at the computer, searching for clues. They are all working on this. On getting Dick back. 

“Maybe I should just get out there,” Tim says suddenly. 

“What?” 

“I can change at will. And that is what they want. I could-”

“No,” John says firmly.

“Think about it.” 

“I am not. You are not. They got Dick and Dick isn't careless or stupid, Tim.” 

“But we know what we're up against.” 

“We only got a glimpse of what they're willing to do, Tim,” John shoves the salad away, his stomach turning just thinking about Dick's face distorted with pain. The needles in his arms. His human form, which would have been stunning and beautiful in any other situation, but which looks grotesque to John now. The agony Dick is in. “We don't know these people. And we won't use you as bait.” 

“You don't have to decide that!” Tim says. 

“In Dick's absence Jason is the oldest, but Bruce is your legal guardian, Tim. Neither of them will say yes to this.” Of that John is sure. “I know you want to help, but not like this.” He reaches out and slings an arm around Tim. Tim lets him, which is a good sign. 

“I'm just desperate,” he admits. “Every second we're looking for clues, they have Dick.” 

“I know,” John replies. He is desperate too.


	20. Chapter 20

**~three~**  
Jason comes back bloody and angry and John doesn’t think that telling him about Tim’s musings would be a good idea. But lying to him seems even worse. 

“Tim wants to be bait,” he says as Batman and Robin, because that is what Jason is going with now, it’s who he is after all, get out of the car. 

“No,” Bruce says immediately. He looks worn out and pissed off. Probably at himself and not at Jason.    
John nods. 

“How does the kid even come up with this shit?” Jason asks stripping off his uniform. It’s fast and effective. He throws the bloody clothes in the hamper and runs a hand through his hair. 

“He’s getting desperate,” Bruce answers.  

“Yes,” John says. 

“We are all desperate, but he’s just a kid. I don’t even want to imagine what they would do to him.” 

“I know. But it got me thinking,” John says carefully. “I’m sure the guy you talked to tonight told you something. At least a contact number or name?” 

“Yeah,” Jason answers. 

“Let’s say someone is looking to sell what they want. We could get in that way.” 

“Wayne can’t do it, his reputation would be ruined,” Jason says. 

“I know, but he could easily build a new persona. A shady, rich persona.” 

“You want to make him a pervert?” Jason asks, grinning. 

“Hm…,” John says, “That would work too. Let’s say that shady guy already has a bird-boy and he just wants someone his bird-boy can ‘play’ with-”

“He saw the video, because he has connections, with means and ways, and is looking to buy that boy. Even if he is damaged,” Bruce says.  
John nods. 

“They will try to double cross you,” Jason throws in. 

“Of course,” Bruce replies. 

“But they’ll have no idea who, what they will be dealing with,” Tim says from his place in the shadows.  

Bruce nods. “Let’s get to work.”

“No,” John says and feels guilty, but Jason and Bruce, even Tim are exhausted. “You need to sleep. All of you, and tomorrow, after breakfast, we’re going to take them down.”  
John knows that it won’t be that easy, that they will need time, and that they have to be careful to not blow it, but he believes in Bruce, in Jason, in Tim. In all of them. In Dick. Because Dick has to know that they’re going to find him, has to know that they’re coming for him. No matter what.    
He’s going to endure and know that justice will be done.

“John,” Bruce protests.

“I want you at your best for this. I need you at your best for this. _Dick_ ,” his voice breaks a bit on Dick’s name, “Dick needs you at your best for this,” he finishes and Jason crosses the distance between them and hugs John. 

“You’re right, John. He does. Let’s take a shower and go to bed,” he says. John nods against his shoulder. “Tim? You’re coming?” He asks. 

“Yeah,” Tim answers and joins them on the stairs. 

John can feel Bruce’s gaze on them, but he’s too tired to fight Jason now. They will figure it out once Dick is back with them. John is sure of that.  
   
~+~  
The next few weeks are tense. Tim is still looking for a way to trace the video back, but has no luck. Jason is on edge nearly all the time now and John knows it’s mostly because this isn’t going fast enough for Jason. It’s not going fast enough for any of them.  
Bruce is out being Mr Shady more often than not. He only comes home on the weekends when he can arrange it.    
John is worried about their collective state of mind. 

~+~  
“They want proof,” Bruce says, his voice is gritty and makes John shiver. Not in a good way. 

“We knew that,” Jason says. 

Bruce doesn’t really look at him, only at Tim. “They want to watch me change, right?” 

“Yes,” Bruce answers, but there is still something he doesn’t tell them and then John gets it. It’s about his cover. About the nature of the relationship these people assume he has with his- with Tim.

“You can’t show his face,” Jason says. “And you can’t-,” he stops, grits his teeth. John knows he wishes it could be him, because Jason would have no problem being touched by Bruce, moan for it even. Tim on the other hand is only 13. 

“It has to look somehow real,” Tim says, his voice stony. He still doesn’t like to be touched by humans and Bruce is no exception. “Just imagine I’m John or Jason.” 

Bruce gives him a look that clearly says ‘I can’t, because you’re not and you’re 13 for god’s sake!’.  
“You tell me to stop if I should make you uncomfortable,” Bruce says. 

Tim shakes his head. “That’s the point, Bruce. Anyone in this situation, in this position of being a slave, a toy? Would be uncomfortable as fuck,” he says. “It’s okay. When you touch me I will cringe and it will be real, but I won’t be afraid that you will hurt me, because I know you won’t. And that’s good too, because if I were your toy I would’ve learned by now that you wouldn’t hurt me – much.”

John grabs Tim and hugs him, presses him close. That Tim is even thinking about it like this, that he can imagine being in this position – it makes John want to break things.  
Bruce nods, but he’s tense. 

“Let’s get this over with,” Jason says, grabbing one of the cameras. 

“Bedroom?” John asks. 

“Not mine,” Bruce answers. 

“One of the unused then,” Jason says. 

~+~  
Tim’s naked.  
Tim’s always naked, but somehow he looks more naked, more vulnerable – vulnerable to begin with John thinks – with Bruce’s big hand on his shoulder, arm. Bruce’s fingers around his neck, stroking him and Tim is shivering. John can barely look at the scene. Jason presses close to him. None of them speak except for Bruce, but it’s not Bruce’s voice or Batman’s, it’s someone else’s, it’s something else. It sounds dark and sinister and syrupy and _wrong_. He’s whispering filth that is barely concealed as endearments, as compliments. John closes his eyes shut.  
And then Tim makes a noise and John’s eyes snap open. Bruce’s fingers are on Tim’s lips and Tim’s eyes are wide and shocked, “Turn for me, little wing,” Bruce says softly, harshly, commanding.  
Tim squeezes his eyes shut and does. Hovers over Bruce’s hand before he settles into his palm, Bruce makes some encouraging noises and then turns off the camera. 

Tim flies over to them and settles into Jason’s hand. “Take me out of here.” His wings are fluttering, he’s a mess.  
Jason just nods and leaves the room with Tim. 

John stays with Bruce. “Are you okay?” He asks carefully. 

“Yes,” Bruce answers. 

“Bruce…”

“It needed to be done,” Bruce says. 

“I felt filthy just watching it, I have no idea how you must feel right now,” John replies. 

“It needed to be done,” Bruce repeats. “I’m going to go over the footage in the cave. Make sure my face or Tim’s or anything else that could lead here isn't in it. Look after Tim?” 

“Of course, but Jason already is and I think you shouldn’t be alone right now either,” John says. 

“I really need to be alone right now John,” Bruce replies. 

It hurts hearing that, but John nods anyway. “Just, don’t shut us out.” 

“I’m trying,” Bruce says.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one today, but if someone is interested I am writing/wrote [Birdland: Beginnings](http://archiveofourown.org/works/771849), which is all about Robins being cute birds and Dick making them a family.

**~four~**  
Tim stays in his bird form for four days and sleeps in an old wine-box close to their bed. John knows it's because he's still feeling vulnerable and messed up. John tries to talk to him about it, but Tim blocks all attempts and when he can get away with it he's flying until night falls. He's also avoiding Bruce. John gets it, because he's been watching the whole thing and he nearly got sick, he can't even imagine how that would feel if it were real. His mind is stuck on all the things that people would want to do to Tim, to Dick. 

Dick, who is vibrant and beautiful. Spirited, free. At least that's how he used to be. John wonders sometimes how Dick will be after they get him back. Because he knows, they all know, they won't get back the same Dick that left here all these months ago. 

~+~  
Jason is vicious on the streets. In the Batman’s absence he’s the one who is hunting down robbers, thugs and wannabe rapists. He’s especially vicious and hard on the rapists, attempt or in progress. And the child abusers. John can’t even fault him for that. There are things that make every single one of them angry. Bad things happening to children is very high on that imaginary list. 

“I know that Bruce wouldn’t approve of my methods, but sometimes I just can’t help myself,” Jason admits. They’re outside again, because the manor feels like a tomb right now. 

“I know,” John replies, because he does know. The darkness, the anger, is much more present inside Jason than him or Tim.  

“And if we don’t find Dick,” he says quietly, “I don’t know what I’m going to do, John. I really don’t know.” 

Jason is afraid of himself, John realises. “We’ll get him back,” he replies. “I know it.” 

“I wonder, if it will be enough,” Jason says. 

It has to be, John thinks. It just has to be. 

~+~  
“Tim’s distant,” Miss Carrie says over tea. 

“He’s Tim,” John tries to play it down.

“I know, but he’s more distant than usually. He didn’t even say one word or raise an eyebrow in mild mockery at me today,” she puts her cup down gently and looks at John. “Is he, are you guys alright?” 

John doesn’t want to lie to her, but he can’t tell her the whole truth either. “We haven’t heard from Dick in some time now. We’re worried,” John settles on. 

“Dick?” Miss Carrie says, thinking, and then, “Yes, your older brother. I haven’t meet him yet.” 

“He likes to travel a lot, likes to go on adventures and see things, likes flying, loves flying,” John says.  

“And you’re worried something has happened to him?” 

“He calls, or writes stupid postcards. He lets us know he’s alright, but we don’t know-” he stops, takes a deep breath. 

“Oh, John. I had no idea.” 

“We don’t want-” he stops again. “It’s personal. A family thing.” He runs his finger over the tabletop in mindless patterns. 

She nods. “Bruce is working on it, right?” 

“Of course, but it’s hard not knowing if he’s alright and that’s why we’re so down lately.” It's only a half-lie. They really don't know if Dick is worse off than in that video, they have all seen more than once by now. But that was recorded weeks ago. 

“I’m sure nothing bad has happened. He can look out for himself, right? Like every single one of you?” 

“Yes, but sometimes bad things just happen,” John says quietly, “No matter how good or careful you are.” 

“Don’t give up, John,” she replies. 

“I would never give up on Dick,” John says firmly.   
 


	22. Chapter 22

**~five~**  
“You look like you're going to crack any minute now,” Tim says. He's back to his human form and he is still naked, but he can't make himself stay close to Bruce and Bruce is keeping his distance too. 

“I'm not going to crack, Tim,” John answers. 

“Just saying how I see it. You know it's not your job to keep us from doing stupid things, right?” 

“Who else would you listen to?” John asks. 

“Dick,” Tim says. 

John smiles. “Yeah, but Dick isn't here right now and when he comes back he will be different. You know that, right?” 

“Yes,” Tim answers. He perches on the big table in the dining room. Good thing Alfred is out grocery shopping right now, even if John still thinks that Alfred knows what Tim gets up to when he isn't there. “No one, who has been through something like Dick is going through right now, will come out unscathed.” Tim balls his hands to fists and they're shaking. He's trying to suppress his anger. John doesn't think it's healthy to do that when you are a 13 year old boy. 

“If you want to punch something, just go down to the cave and do it,” John says. 

Tim sighs. “I'm afraid to start. I have no idea if I will be able to stop.” 

“Tim...”

“It felt horrible, Bruce touching me. I knew, I knew, it was Bruce, but he sounded different, he felt different. It really screwed with my head, John. I can't forget how he touched me, how he looked at me. His fingers on my lips and that voice. That voice, John,” Tim shivers again. 

“He would never do anything to harm you, Tim.” 

“I know! But I still felt helpless and terrified in those moments and there's video-proof of it,” Tim replies. 

“Bruce is going to destroy it once he finds Dick, and the people who did this,” John says. 

“I know. I trust Bruce. It's-” he stops and uncurls, sits down on the table and lets his legs dangle. 

“People have seen it already,” John finishes for him. 

“Yes. I know they won't be able to recognize me, but. John,” he says and looks John in the eyes. “Why did he call me 'little wing'? That's what Jason calls me.” 

“I don't know,” John admits, but he's been wondering about that too. “Maybe he just went with what felt-” he can't actually finish with 'right' or 'natural' here, “What fit the role he was playing,” he settles on. 

Tim nods. “I just need time to get myself back together, okay?” 

“No one will pressure you into anything, Tim,” John says softly, nudging Tim's leg gently with his own. 

~+~  
“Do they trust you yet?” Jason asks, exhaling smoke. Bruce stopped giving Jason the look for the smoking thing a few weeks ago. 

“As far as they can throw me,” Bruce replies. He looks tired. He's out and meeting with scum to find Dick or he's out and being Batman so scum in Gotham doesn't even start to think he's busy with other stuff. 

“Let's just hope that it'll be enough,” Jason says. 

“What aren't you telling us?” John asks, because he knows that tightness in Bruce's body all too well. 

“I'm allowed to take a look at the good-, at Dick tomorrow night,” Bruce says. 

“Do they want that you bring Tim?” Jason asks sharply. 

Bruce nods. “I flat out refused. Told them that I'm not stupid and that there is no way I would bring my- that I would bring Tim with me.” 

“I don't think they took that well.” Tim says from his place on the chair. It's the farthest away from Bruce he can be. 

“They didn't, but I managed to get my point across,” Bruce agrees.

“I would've come with you, if you needed me, Bruce,” Tim says quietly. 

“I know,” Bruce replies. But he also knows, John is sure of this, that Tim would've been uncomfortable as hell the whole time and that he’s glad he doesn't have to go, and he also feels a little guilty for it too, because he's Tim. 

“They will let you see Dick tomorrow?” John asks. 

“Yes,” Bruce says. 

“You will get him out, right?” Tim asks. 

“Yes,” Bruce repeats. 

“That doesn't leave much time to plan, and we aren't going in there without a plan,” Jason throws in. 

“You aren't coming,” Bruce says. 

“Really? Who else do you want to take as back-up?” Jason asks. 

“I don't need back-up, Jason.”

“I know you're Batman, but Dick will be in no condition to walk, most likely drugged and malnourished and god only knows what else. He won't be any help, Bruce. And you can't carry him and fight these people. And I know you have no illusions that they will just let you walk out of there.” Bruce keeps silent and Jason continues. “I know you don't like this, but I am good enough and you will need me.”

“Dick will need you,” John says. 

“I don't think he will be able to stand being touched by humans...” Tim throws in. “Even if it's you, Bruce.” 

“He'll need someone of his own kind,” John says. 

“You will do exactly as I say,” Bruce replies and he looks at all of them. They nod. 

~+~  
John let's Tim snuggle close and grabs Jason's hand under the blanket. It's still pretty early for them, but there isn't much to do except wait and they can do that in bed, being close to each other. John doesn't think that the plan, very simple at that – get in, get Dick, get out – will fail, but the waiting is nerve-wrecking and after they get Dick back things will still be hard. No one in the manor has any illusions about that.

“I don't think Miss Carrie should be around much anymore, once Dick comes back to us,” John whispers. 

“I know,” Tim says. “She can't know about this. No one can.” 

“No one will,” Jason replies firmly. John knows he's going to make sure no one ever gets to see the video of Tim. Tim himself will make sure of it too. He will trace it down and destroy any copy that might be out there. 

“You could meet with her outside,” John says gently. 

“We’ll have to see how Dick's- how he, if he can handle people being around him,” Tim settles on.   
John leans over and kisses his forehead. Tim wraps his arms around John and clings to him. “Just bring him back,” he says over John's shoulder to Jason. 

“I will,” Jason replies and John knows he will raise hell to get Dick back to them. He won't come back without their brother.


	23. Chapter 23

**~six~**  
John has no idea if it’s better or worse, that Tim and he can see and hear everything via the Batcom. Not that Bruce is allowed to see where they’re driving, not that Bruce needs to see to know. And then there is of course Jason following them in the shadows.  
John is glad Alfred is with them in the cave. His presence is calming John’s nerves. The hot chocolate might help too.  
He tunes the conversation out. He doesn’t want to hear, and everything is being recorded anyway for when he will want to hear everything that was spoken before they got Dick back.  
Tim grabs his arm hard when Bruce is finally allowed to see Dick. John’s fingers are too hard on the delicate porcelain of his cup.

They cleaned him up, but he’s naked, bruised and sedated to a point John is pretty sure he doesn’t recognise anyone anymore. Not that he would’ve been able to recognise Bruce in his Mr Shady persona. Maybe by instinct or scent, but John doesn’t know how fucked up those are by now after weeks of drugs, forced change, and torture.  

“He looks like a damaged boy to me,” Bruce says, his voice is even and cold.

“He’s not damaged, but we didn’t get him young, like you,” the man replies, there is slight disdain in his voice as he says ‘young’. “We had to keep him somehow docile, they aren’t as a rule. Don’t like cages.”

“Don’t I know it,” Bruce says. “So, can he do what you say he can do?” He looks Dick over again, Dick is staring at the wall. Keeping still. It’s unnatural, especially for Dick. It makes John shiver with anger.

“He can change alright,” the man answers. “And if I let your bird play with mine, do we get to examine yours?” It’s not a real question as that is the core of the deal.

Bruce nods. “Yes. But he’ll better not look like that one when you’re done with him.” There is a note of possessiveness in Bruce’s, Mr Shady’s voice.

“My doctors will be as careful as you can be in these matters, and if you’re not playing us, your bird can change at will. This one couldn’t. Had to learn that trick.”

“You saw the video. He changes when I tell him to, he sings when I tell him too, he-”

“Yes. Yes,” the man interrupts. He clearly isn’t comfortable with Mr Shady’s preferences, but that won’t stand in his way to get his fingers on the bird and in into Tim’s guts. “Make him change,” he says to the goons behind Dick.

“What prevents him from just trying to fly away once he’s in bird-form?” Bruce asks.

“The tracker we planted under his skin, that keeps him docile-“

“Drugs?”

“A little shock,” the man answers. He’s clearly a sadist, John thinks.

Mr Shady nods and they all watch as Dick is forced to change. They’ve seen it before in that first video, but it had been a bit blurry like the man’s hand who held the camera had been shaking, cut-off. This here is clear as day, because Batman has the best toys.  
John can see every little bone break, the pain Dick is in shows clearly on his face, he’s sweating.

“It’s not like that for me,” Tim says, his hands balled to fists. “Dick isn’t like me, he shouldn’t be like this. He never wanted to be human, John!”  
John slings an arm around him and lets Tim breathe and shake until he’s gained control over himself again. “I want to tear these people apart John. I really, really do,” he whispers.

“I know,” John says, because he’s feeling the same way.  
   
~+~  
“I’ll take him,” Mr Shady, Bruce says.

The man laughs, “He’s not going anywhere-“

But John doesn’t even listen to it anymore, because that is Jason’s cue. Tim is hacking into the security system and opening doors right and left.  
What follows is a commotion. Gun shots, broken bones, blood. None of it is Jason’s or Bruce’s. John wants to see these men bleed, knows Tim and Jason want it too, but Dick is of more importance right now. They will be punished. Batman and Commissioner Gordon will see to that. 

~+~  
Dick is unconscious when they bring him in. Bruce doesn’t waste time in getting him on the table and staring to get the tracker out of his body. He makes x-rays and runs blood tests as well. Starts an IV drip and begins to wash out the drugs from Dick’s body.  
Dick is still naked and he looks fragile. He’s older than John by three years and he looks much, much younger. He could be Tim’s age for all John knows.     
Jason’s uniform is splattered in reddish brown. Dried blood, John’s brain supplies.

“Maybe you should give me your uniform, Master Jason?” Alfred asks gently. 

Jason looks at him and then down on himself, his hands, the gauntlets. “Yea,” he answers and begins to strip.  
Alfred takes the clothes without another word. Jason doesn’t ask for a robe. He’s still buzzing, dazed on adrenalin.

“He will be okay, right?” Tim asks from his place at the console of the Batcomputer.

“I’m doing my best, I think he will be alright,” Bruce says.

“Maybe we should call Doctor Leslie,” Alfred says.

“I don’t want for anyone to see him like this,” Jason cuts in.

“If he needs a doctor we should send for one,” John says.

“It should be alright. It’s nothing I can’t handle here or Alfred for that matter,” Bruce replies.  
John nods. He’s relieved, he doesn’t want anyone to see Dick like this either. It would only raise questions they can’t answer.

“You should go and wash up, Master Jason, Master Bruce,” Alfred says. “I will prepare dinner.”

“I’ll stay with Dick,” Tim replies quietly. 

~+~  
They keep watch at Dick’s bed in shifts for three days before he opens his eyes. He’s in human form and it doesn’t look like he’s going to turn just now. He’s probably too exhausted. It’s good that he was brought back in human form too, because John doesn’t think Bruce has studied bird anatomy.

“John…” Dick says and his voice sounds wrecked and all wrong. His eyes look dull and haunted.

“You’re home now,” John whispers, stroking Dick’s wrist carefully. There are marks there too.  
Dick tries to smile at him, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to you sooner,” John adds.

“Not your fault,” Dick says. “Get me some water please?”

“Of course,” John answers and reaches over to the table to get the pitcher and glass. “Alfred can make you something delicious to eat, if you want.”

“I’m not hungry,” Dick says taking the offered glass carefully.

John wants to tell him that everything will be alright now, but he can’t, because he knows it won’t.   
So he sits with Dick until Dick falls asleep again. 


	24. Chapter 24

**~seven~**  
“Tell me why this creep isn’t in prison!” Jason yells.

Bruce looks calm, but that doesn’t say much these days. Since they got Dick back eight days ago things have been pretty fucked up.  
Dick is still human, refuses to wear clothes, and John knows that Bruce is very uncomfortable around him, when he isn’t in bed under a blanket. Right now Dick is in the garden, lying close to the pool with Tim watching over him. None of them like to leave Dick alone, but Dick hardly can stand any touch. Especially not from the humans. John knows it will get better, because Dick is different from Tim. Dick needs touch, needs to be caressed, hugged, and petted, kissed. Just – not right now.  
And because Dick is far away, Jason feels like he can yell at Bruce. To be honest John has been asking himself that same question.

“Because he has a good lawyer, Jason. That is why, but he’s not going to get away with it.”

“There is hardly any proof without Mr Shady’s testimony and he doesn’t even exist –or the video, and we promised Tim no one would ever see that,” Jason answers. “And Dick, _Dick_ , can barely stand being around you and Alfred. No way in hell is he going to tell the police or the DA what happened to him. If the evidence Gordon collected isn’t enough and it doesn’t look that way,” Jason takes a deep breath and looks Bruce in the eyes. “Then we need to do this on our own.”

“So you want to be his judge, jury, and executioner now?” Bruce asks his voice hard.

“We’re operating outside of the law anyway, Bruce,” Jason answers which isn’t a direct answer to the question at core: Is Jason willing to kill in the name of justice?

“Do you think Dick would want that?” Bruce wants to know.

“Honestly? No idea, but we can ask him. I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t so far,” Jason takes out a smoke and lights it, inhales deeply, lets it out, “Are you afraid of the answer?”

“Dick’s not in the right state of mind to answer that question-” 

“Correctly?” John cuts in.  
Bruce looks at him like he’s just been betrayed by John. John can’t help how he feels and he thinks that no one who tortured, held captive and experimented on a feeling, living being should be allowed to go free without so much as a slap on the wrist. John knows this isn’t the end of it probably, because with the system as corrupt as it is, who can really say if this will be on trial at all?

“Dick will be emotional about this,” Bruce says.

“Of course. That’s what happens when you’ve been tortured and your tormentor runs free to enjoy all what the world has to offer because he has money,” Jason spits angrily.

“I don’t think there is a correct answer to that question, Bruce. This can’t stand unpunished,” John replies.  

“Not like this,” Bruce says.

“What good is it than being a vigilante?” Jason asks, but what he means is: what good is it than being your Robin?

Bruce doesn’t answer. The silence is deafening. It chills John to his very core. This is a crossroad for them. And John isn’t sure they will take the right path, or what the right path even is.  
   
~+~  
John doesn’t ask Dick if he wants revenge. That is not what Dick should be thinking about. John thinks Dick should be concentrating on all the good things again.  
Like having a delicious worm-salad with them.

“It’s so weird, it’s still delicious, but it’s kinda slimy going down,” Dick says stabbing a tomato.

“Yeah, but Alfred really got the hang of it,” Tim replies. “I’m sure he had never made worm-salad before. It’s probably not something you learn in Butler-school.”

“Stitching people up isn’t either,” Jason says lazily. “And he is a pro when it comes to that.”

“Alfred’s special,” John says gulping a worm down. They’re fat and meaty and taste faintly lemony, must be the dressing.

“He made cinnamon buns, because I like them,” Dick says and he’s smiling. Slowly but surely John thinks they’re getting their old Dick back, or a version of him that isn’t this withdrawn stranger.  

~+~  
Jason is still angry at Bruce. He can’t understand why Bruce isn’t doing something.

“What if that creep finds another one of us? Heck, we don’t know if he doesn’t experiment on twins or albinos or whatever the hell people would pay money for to have breed,” he says. He’s chain-smoking again. It’s a sure sign he feels trapped in his own skin.

John wishes they could go flying. “Come running with me?” He asks instead.

Jason sighs. “There are better ways to wear me out,” he answers, exhaling smoke. “You know I won’t hurt you.”

“I don’t mind if you play rough now and then,” John admits.

“Don't tempt me right now John,” Jason says.

“I can take care of myself,” John replies.  
Jason grins and pounces. John falls easily against the nearest furniture which is a small couch, laughing. He lets Jason pin him down and smiles up at him.

“I will have my wicked way with you now,” Jason whispers against his throat.

“Promises, promises,” John says.

Jason kisses him hard.

~+~  
“Do you want to go flying with me?” Tim asks Dick after breakfast.

Dick shakes his head. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Dick, you love flying,” Tim says.

“I-” Dick stops, balls his hands to fists on his sides and takes a deep breath. “I can't.”

This doesn't sit well with John, neither does it sit well with Tim if the worried look he's giving him is any indication.

“Dick-”

“I can't!” Dick yells and gets up. He runs a hand through his hair, (his head thrown back), staring at the sky that is as blue as his eyes. “I'm sorry, but I can't talk about it either.”

“Okay,” Tim says.

John is very aware that there is a lot of shit they don't know about. About all the weeks Dick had been _there_. The things they have done to him. Some of the things they can guess by the marks, the wounds, the scars they saw on Dick's body. But no one knows what else- John stops in his tracks. Not true he thinks. Bruce knows. He has to know, because he cleaned that place of any evidence they had. All the videos must be somewhere. He has to ask Tim to get them for him, because John is pretty sure Batman didn't delete them.

~+~  
“Jason can never see this,” Bruce says behind him. John hadn't heard him enter the cave. But then Batman is just that good.

John nods. He knows Bruce is right. It would send Jason over the edge and he is barely holding on when it comes to his anger and need for revenge.  
“Don't you want to see them punished?” John asks.

“Do I want to kill them?” Bruce asks, but it's the Batman's voice.  
John nods, because he isn't going to lie about this. These people punished Dick for being him. For doing what he loved. They fucked him up so badly. It's a wonder he is as sane as he is.  
“Yes,” Bruce admits after a long silence.

John grabs his hand on holds on. He is very aware they haven't had sex in weeks, but doing it without Jason there seems wrong. And Jason isn't in the mood to have sex with Bruce. They are constantly at each other's throats, and not in the fun way. Bruce is stone cold and Jason is hot angry.  
“I miss us,” John whispers.

Bruce kisses the top of his head. “I miss us too, John, but I can't give Jason what he wants. I just hope he can see that the right thing to do is to trust in the system. You have to trust in something.”

I trust in you, he wants to say, and you don't trust in the system or you wouldn't wear the cowl, but he keeps silent. Neither of these things would help them or make things easier.


	25. Chapter 25

**Part Five:**

**~one~**  
As John runs into the room, Jason is already at the door. Jason's fingers are gripping the door-frame so hard his knuckles are white. 

“I don't-” Bruce is backed against the wall. He's done it himself or let Dick do it. There's broken glass and porcelain on the floor. That had been what alerted them. It's a good thing Tim is somewhere on the grounds with Miss Carrie and Alfred eating ice-cream. 

Dick is naked and shaking with anger. His hands are tight fists on his sides. His eyes are clear as ice and just as cold.   
“Fix me!” Dick yells. “Just fix me please,” his voice breaks on the last word. John has no idea what he can do, he's staring at Dick, at Bruce, whose hands are balled to fists on his sides too. John feels helpless, so very helpless. He takes a breath and Jason is at Dick's side. Hugging him, pressing him close to his body. Dick is shivering and biting his lip, sobbing as he clings to Jason. They fall to their knees in Bruce's study, hard, but neither seems to mind. 

And between the sobs John can hear Jason's voice saying over and over and over: “You're not broken, Dick, you're not broken.”

Dick's fingers dig into Jason's skin, they'll leave marks, Jason doesn't even flinch. Dick's own body is a landscape of bruises, puncture marks and scars. A history of torture and abuse.   
John looks away from them and at Bruce again. He wants him to leave, he needs him to leave, but that would sound horrible and that is not what this is about, but Dick is theirs to take care off now.   
Bruce nods and leaves, because he understands. 

~+~  
After Dick's breakdown Bruce decides that the business trip to China is long overdue. John can't even blame him for this.   
Dick needs space and the manor is big, but he can still feel people, humans, not his kind around them. Dick seems to tolerate Alfred far better than Bruce. Maybe because Alfred doesn't have sex with his brothers, John muses. Not that there was much of that lately.   
John knows that a part of Dick feels bad about it, because Bruce gave them a home and Bruce came for him and cares for them, but the bigger part of Dick is relieved that he won't have to deal with it all for just a few blessed days. 

~+~  
“I asked him,” Jason says exhaling smoke. 

“Dick,” John states and he’s afraid of the answer. 

Jason nods. “He has good days and bad days he said – but we know that -, but on his bad days he wants them all to pay. To hurt like he hurt, like he hurts.” 

“Was it a good day or a bad day when you asked?” John wants to know. 

“A good day,” Jason says. 

Somehow John knew that and it should make it worse, but it doesn't. John can feel that anger under his skin too. He can't believe either that these people will walk free.   
“Will you do something about it?” John asks. 

“Do you want me to?”

“You are capable of it, but is this the right way?” John says. 

“I noticed you didn't ask if it's the right thing to do,” Jason counters. 

“I don't doubt that they have to pay, Jason. I want them to feel everything they've done to Dick too, but that's not possible, because they're human, but I still want to make them suffer.” 

Jason nods. “You know that Bruce wouldn't approve of it.” 

“I'm not saying kill them all-” 

“Dick did,” Jason says quietly. “He whispered it into my ear as I held him, when he broke down last week.” He takes another deep drag of his cigarette. “That should have been the thing to drive me over the edge, but it wasn't, it was three days ago when he told me the same thing and it was a good day for him. Sunshine and ice-cream and Alfred's worm-salad and he just told me as I asked.”   
He looks at John and John suddenly knows what is coming. “I did it.” 

“Jason.” 

“I thought I would feel bad, or relieved, justified, but I don't. I am however glad that I did it. I wanted to and now Dick doesn't have to,” he takes another deep drag. “It's only a matter of time before _he_ finds out. I didn't exactly hide the bodies. It won't be pretty.” He takes out a USB drive and hands it over to John. “I recorded it. For Dick. You will know when he's ready to watch it.” 

“It's not on the Batcomputer, is it?” John asks, closing his fingers tightly around the USB. 

“No,” Jason says. “I’m not ashamed of what I did, but I don't think Wayne, Bruce, I don't think Bruce could watch it and not freak out.” 

“I won't show it to him.” 

“I know, John.” He puts his cigarette out and looks at John. “I guess I have tonight and maybe tomorrow before he knows.” 

John nods and it's agreement and permission. 

~+~  
If Bruce is surprised to see them in his bed when he comes home from China, he doesn’t show it. It’s late, but not that late. 

“Are you tired?” John asks. 

Bruce shakes his head. “Let me shower first.”

“Why? Are you trying to hide the scent of the women you fucked?” Jason asks, but it’s playful. 

“Would I do that?”

“We do read all the gossip sites,” Jason answers as they watch Bruce strip out of his suit. It’s like watching high-class porn would be John imagines. 

“Don’t trust the hype,” Bruce replies. His voice has that syrupy quality again. Dark and sweet and a bit dangerous. 

“This is my way of verifying your reputation,” Jason says getting up on his knees and holding a hand out for Bruce. 

Bruce comes easily. Jason grabs him by his hips and kisses his hipbone, his stomach, breathes him in. He's memorizing, and John really doesn’t want to think about tomorrow right now.    
Bruce makes a noise when Jason licks him, his hands settle on Jason’s shoulders, cradling his neck, and stroking his cheek as Jason takes Bruce’s dick in his mouth. John inches closer. He loves watching them. Loves the way they move together: so perfectly in sync. 

He reaches out and runs his hand over Jason’s side, up his arm, his hand, his fingers until he can feel Bruce’s skin under his hand. Watches as Bruce’s fingers tighten a fraction on Jason’s neck. He can’t help himself he has to lean in and kiss Jason’s shoulder, his neck – Bruce’s fingers -, Jason’s cheek, his lips, Bruce’s dick.   
Jason pulls off, shifting so John can take his place. He can feel Jason settling behind him, can feel Jason’s hands running over his body in mindless patterns, his breath against his neck. Jason’s lips on his skin. Soft, damp, gentle. 

“Don’t make him come,” Jason whispers. It sounds a bit breathless, a bit harsh. John hums his agreement and then pulls off. Bruce’s hand is lingering against his check, his fingers against John’s lips, tracing them gently. 

“You,” he says and John know he means both of them. 

Jason leans over lightning fast and grabs Bruce’s hand, drags him down, so they fall in a pile onto the bed.   
Bruce is warm and smells like the outside world, the city, and home. He tastes like Alfred’s coffee when John kisses him. He’s pinned and he doesn’t care. There are hands on his sides and his arms, his legs; brushing, stroking, teasing. He’s moaning into Bruce’s mouth and then Jason’s and Bruce’s again.   
It’s gentle and slow and driving John crazy. 

“Jason,” he grits out and Jason wraps his fingers around John’s cock. He strokes him fast and hard until John comes, biting down on Bruce’s fingers. 

“Fucking perfect,” Jason says. John smiles at him as Bruce withdraws his fingers. 

“Can only give that back,” he replies and Jason kisses him before he grabs the lube they stashed in the nightstand. Long live internet shopping. They’ve done this before with fingers only and not with Bruce, but John knows Jason is after more tonight.

“Jason,” Bruce says and nothing else. 

“I want you to fuck me, Bruce,” Jason replies holding the lube out. 

“I want to do it,” John says, snatching it away. “I’ll start, because my fingers are smaller.” 

“Jason,” Bruce repeats as Jason spreads his legs. 

“Don’t ask me if I’m sure or why now, just do it, okay? You can be gentle if you want to,” he says winking just as John slips him the first finger. 

“Looks like you’ve done this before,” Bruce remarks. 

“You have no idea,” Jason replies, moaning as John adds another one. It’s fascinating to see Jason like this, open and willing and wanting. And he’s lying to Bruce, by omission, but still lying. Even his body is lying – Bruce trained him well. He takes three of John’s fingers easily and when Bruce adds one of his he throws his head back and demands more. Jason likes it a bit rough and if Bruce thinks that they’ve done this before, that they’ve fucked already, he might let go of his control a bit and give Jason what he wants. When John thinks about it, Bruce might do it anyway, because he’s Bruce. 

“I know you’re lying,” Bruce whispers; it makes John shiver and Jason laugh harshly. 

“Just fuck me like I want you to,” he replies. 

“Condom,” Bruce says and John pulls out his fingers and grabs one, hands it over to Bruce and watches, intertwining his and Jason’s fingers, as Bruce fucks him slow and hard. John knows that it’s never going to be like this again and he wants to burn this into his mind to keep forever. 

The way Jason clutches, moans, writhes and bites. “I love this,” Jason says between pants. 

The way Bruce kisses him with a reckless abandon– like jumping from a rooftop without knowing what might be down there.   
The way their bodies are moving in unison towards the same goal.   
John loves them and he wants this night to never end.


	26. Chapter 26

**~two~**  
John wakes up tired and aching in a good way. It’s still very early, but Bruce is already gone. Jason is still curled up in bed beside him.   
John can hear the seconds ticking away. He wonders what Bruce will do once he finds out what Jason has done.   
Jason is right, John knows it, it won’t be pretty. 

“You’re thinking too loud,” Jason mumbles into the pillow. 

“I can’t help it. I’m concerned,” John replies. He turns on his side to look at Jason, who is lying on his stomach, his face pressed into the pillow, breathing slowly. Probably inhaling their scent. 

“I’m not. It was the right thing to do,” Jason says. 

John knows that, but still. There might have been another way and they just didn’t think of it. But would it have been better to plant some evidence? Just to get these guys looked up? Would’ve Bruce done _that_? Batman is big on real evidence after all.   
“He will be very angry,” John whispers. 

“I know,” Jason replies. “I planned this, I did it in cold blood- I waited for Bruce to be out of the country to do it. I think he would’ve understood it more if I did it in hot anger – without really thinking about it. But in this case there is no denying that I was in fact in the right state of mind and that I used everything that he has taught me to kill people.”

“His code of honor doesn’t allow him to kill,” John replies. 

“I know, but it’s not mine. I am not even a real human being, John. No matter the form I’m in. I am more than a human – I’m not saying better, but fitter, more agile, I can stand more pain and suffering and am build different. You know that. You’ve seen the state Dick was in when we brought him home? He’s healing faster than a human would be. That’s because we are – how does Bruce call it?”

“Meta-human,” John answers.  

“Yes, and is it me or is there the slightest disdain in is voice when he says that word?” 

“It’s not only you. I think he’s just wary. Is all,” John answers and leans over to kiss Jason’s shoulder. 

“As he should be,” Jason admits. John wonders if he counts himself in there too. Most likely. If Jason wanted to he could take Bruce down. At least in his human form. Jason turns on his back to look at him. “So,” he says grinning, “Wanna come on my chest?” 

John nods. 

~+~  
When they finally make it to the kitchen for breakfast, Alfred informs them that Bruce has already gone to the lawyer.   
They eat pancakes and worm-salad and don’t say a word about Dick not being there. 

“Master Richard is in the garden,” Alfred says. 

John nods, gulping the rest of his tea. “I’m going to talk to him,” he says to Jason. 

“I’m going to the cave and do some sit-ups or something,” he replies. 

“Or you could show Tim a few of the tricks you’ve learned, I know he would like you to,” John says.   
Jason nods. 

~+~  
John finds Dick in the wilder parts of the grounds. Sitting under a tree and staring up into the branches. A look of longing on his face. 

“You could change and it would only hurt for a little while and you could fly, Dick,” John says quietly. He is sure Dick has already sensed him, but he doesn’t want to startle him in any case. 

“I can't,” Dick replies not looking away from the branches, or maybe he’s watching the sky.

“Dick-“ 

“I can't because being human is the only way I can stand being around you. All of you, John,” he interrupts. Dick sounds miserable and ashamed for feeling that way. And John is fiercely glad the people who did this won't be ever able to do this again, because they're dead.   
Because Jason killed them. 

His fingers clench around the USB drive he is caring around like a charm since Jason gave it to him the day before. Would this be the time to give it to Dick? To let him watch this? Or would it only make Dick more miserable? Either way, John has to tell Dick what Jason has done. Time is slipping away. Bruce will find out soon. 

“Dick,” he says. “Dick I need to tell you something. I think Jason should, but you know him, he won’t, but Dick,” and John can’t stop saying his name, “Jason killed them all.” 

Dick’s eyes snap to his. “Jason killed them all?” He asks, but it’s not a real question. “He asked me and I told him I wanted them dead.”

“He didn’t only do it for you, Dick. You have to know that. He did it, because he thinks it’s what they deserved and so you or Bruce wouldn’t have to.” 

“Bruce wouldn’t, no matter what,” Dick replies, and there is anger in his voice and pride. “I’m not so sure about myself.”   
John isn’t sure either, so he doesn’t reply.   
“But I’m feeling relieved knowing they aren’t out there anymore, John. Does this make me a horrible person?” 

“Jason killed them, Dick and you don’t think he’s a horrible person, do you?” John asks. 

“No, I don’t,” Dick answers and smiles and it’s the first real smile John has seen since he came back and he wishes Jason could be here, to see and bask in it as well. 

“He recorded it. I didn’t watch, but he says you should have it when you’re ready, if you’re ever ready,” John blurts out. John isn’t a fan of secrets, half-truths and maybe-lies. He tries to be honest whenever he can. 

Dick shakes his head. “I don’t want to see it now,” he says. “Does Bruce know?”

“Not yet, but we distracted him with sex last night and he’s with the lawyers today, so...” he trails off. 

“It's only a matter of time before he finds out.”

“Jason didn’t feel the need to hide the bodies,” John says. 

“Bruce would’ve found out anyway. That’s what he does,” Dick replies. “Maybe Jason should tell Bruce.”

“They fought about it. Bruce won’t be – I think he will feel betrayed. Jason used everything he has learned here to track those men down and kill them in cold blood.” 

“You’re worried he will throw Jason out?” Dick asks. 

“Yes, I am. It’s something they won’t ever be able to agree on. Bruce doesn’t seem the type to let it go with a ‘we must agree to disagree’,” he answers. 

“No, he doesn’t, but he cares for you. He loves you, both of you. John, you know that.” 

“I don’t doubt his love for a second, but sometimes, Dick, sometimes love just isn’t enough,” John replies. 

“You’re pretty smart for a sixteen year old kid,” Dick says. 

“I had the best teacher possible, Dick,” John smiles.


	27. Chapter 27

**~three~**  
Bruce finds out that night.   
John knows it instantly and he’s aware that Jason knows it too. Bruce could ask if it was Jason, because these men sure as hell had enemies. No one who does what they did doesn't.   
But Bruce knows and it wouldn’t make it any less painless.   
They wait in the cave for Bruce, for Batman, because Dick is right, Jason should be the one to say it. 

“I wanted to tell you,” Jason says, exhaling smoke. 

“When?” Bruce asks and it’s a fair question, because there had been other times to come clean. 

“I needed you to fuck me while you still could look at me like-” he stops. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to do it after. You already look at me differently.” 

“You killed six men, Jason.” 

“In cold blood and I planned it and I waited for you to be out of the country to do it, yes.” 

“You’re not sorry,” Bruce says. John thinks Bruce should have known this. 

“I’m not. I did what needed to be done,” Jason replies. 

“And will you do it again?” Bruce asks and this is what it may come down to, John thinks. If this was a one-time thing for Jason, if Bruce can believe him that he did it because it was personal, because he wanted justice for _Dick_ , then he thinks that this might work out between them after all. But John doesn’t have such illusions, he knows Jason. 

“Yes, if the system fails and I know they are guilty, yes Bruce, I will most likely do it again,” Jason answers. His voice is calm and controlled. 

“I didn’t train you to kill people, Jason,” Bruce says. 

“You trained me so you wouldn’t have to do this alone. You don’t want to admit it, but you need a partner. You need to know that there is someone who has your back, someone who shares your ideals, someone who gets the adrenalin rush, someone-”

“Someone to come home to,” John cuts in and Bruce looks at him for the first time since he came back from his patrol. 

“You knew and you let me-” Bruce stops, runs a hand over his face, he’s still wearing the cowl, but they aren’t talking to Batman right now. 

“I love Jason too,” John says firmly. “There was no harm in not telling you just then. There was nothing to gain from telling you right away, because we knew as soon as you knew, you’d stop-” he bites his tongue. He is not going to say it. 

“Loving you?” 

“No, not that,” John says. “But is it enough? Loving us. Like this? How we are?” 

“Kids on a murder spree,” Jason says meanly. 

“John didn’t kill them,” Bruce replies. 

“Just because I didn’t know how. I wanted them dead. Tim wanted them dead. _Dick_ -”

“Wanted them in prison,” Bruce interrupts. 

John nods, “But that didn’t happen. You know they would’ve gotten a slap on the wrist and nothing else. While Dick has to live with this his whole life. Bruce,” John says his voice hard. “He hates being human. And he doesn’t change, because being human is the only way for him not to hate you all.” 

“That’s fucked up,” Jason says. 

“Yeah.” John nods. “But it’s Dick and he tries, he tries so hard to be a good person.”   
Bruce keeps silent. John has no idea what will come next. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Jason asks. 

“Do you want to leave?” Bruce asks. 

“No, but if you’re going to question my every move and motive-”

“I can’t help it! You let me fuck you so I wouldn’t find out about the killings sooner, Jason.”    

“I let you fuck me because I wanted to, because I wanted you and I wanted it to be without all the hate and resentment and self-blame bullshit that is going on now!” Jason explodes. 

“Then you shouldn’t have killed these men,” Bruce replies, visibly fighting for control. 

“You can’t make my decisions for me, Bruce. Not anymore. If I think about it, you couldn’t from the start. I do what I do, because I want to, because I think it’s the right thing to do. And you do the same,” Jason says. 

John knows that Jason is going to leave, he knows it. “Jason.”

“I won’t ask you to come with me, bird-boy, because I know you aren’t ready for the city and Dick needs you. You two are very alike.” He grabs John and kisses him, soft and gentle, and desperate.   
John kisses him back exactly the same way.   
“I won’t be a stranger,” Jason says over his shoulder to Bruce. 

Bruce nods. 

~+~  
“Jason's left,” John says. 

“He always made the hard decisions,” Dick replies making room on the couch for John. 

“Is it okay? I mean, I just want to curl up on your lap,” John admits. 

“It's alright, John. I wouldn't have offered otherwise,” Dick replies and holds a hand out for John. 

“Okay,” John says, curling up on the couch with Dick, his head in Dick's lap. “I know it's better for them not to live under the same roof right now, but what if they can't work it out? I know Jason won't stop killing the bad guys if everything else fails. And Bruce won't ever do it, no matter what. They have no common ground anymore.”

“They have you,” Dick answers, stroking John's hair. 

John wonders if that will be enough, if he will be enough to hold them together. “I'm just a kid that turned for the first person he fell in love with,” John says. 

“You say it like it's a bad thing,” Dick replies. 

“I wonder, if we were better off never meeting Bruce.”

Dick's hand stills in his hair. “Is this only about me getting-” he stops, taking a breath, “taken?” 

“No, I know it's not my fault you were taken. Or yours. Just musing, I guess.” 

“You would've most likely be dead, John, if Bruce hadn't found you.” 

“Yeah...”

“So, I say it's a good thing Bruce found you,” Dick says, starting to stroke his hair again. 

“Thanks Dick,” John whispers and closes his eyes. He falls asleep like that. 

~+~  
Breakfast the next morning is a tense affair, but at least Dick is eating with them. He’s making an effort to be around Bruce too, not too close, but he doesn't sit at the other end of the room either. 

“So, you threw Jason out because he killed the people who tortured Dick?” Tim says into the silence. 

“I didn't tell him to go,” Bruce replies. 

“You didn't ask him to stay,” Tim says. “And I wanted them dead too and John and Dick. And we're still here, just because he got to them earlier,” he adds. 

“He wanted to go,” Bruce replies. 

“He didn't and you must know that I helped him, Bruce. I tracked them down, because I am just that good.” 

Bruce's fingers clench briefly around his spoon. “I won't throw you out Tim.” 

“He didn't tell me he wanted to kill them, but I knew and I didn't care enough for them to live to try and stop Jason or to call you.” 

“I won't throw you out,” Bruce repeats. 

“But why? Because you hope when it should happen again, that I will decide differently?” 

“Yes,” Bruce admits. 

“I may not,” Tim replies. 

“I know,” Bruce says. 

And that's why it's called hope, John thinks. It's always a leap of faith.


	28. Chapter 28

**~four~**  
Dick doesn't change like Tim, but there is still something beautiful about the way he changes in a scary and horrible kind of way.   
He sheds his skin like humans shed their clothes. Piece by piece. His skin is covered in a light sheen of sweat and then by feathers – rising up like leaves or flowers, like waves, and then he's Dick again. His rightful form that of a bird. He takes a shuddering breath and hops onto the railing. Tim is sitting behind him. 

“Just jump and spread your wings,” Tim says and Dick nudges him gently with his wing. These are the exact same words Dick said to Tim during his first flying lesson. 

“You cannot unlearn flying, Tim,” Dick replies. 

“I know,” Tim says and jumps, spreading his wings and John watches as Dick takes another deep breath and follows. He wonders if Dick will stay like this now, if he will leave again once he thinks it's safe to do it. He doesn't want to leave Dick out of his sight, even he knows it's the natural thing to do. Kids grow up and leave the nest. Jason already did.   
There is still a place in their bed for Jason. John thinks they sleep closer together, so the place will never be occupied. 

“Master Richard is flying again, I see. Should I get the wine-box?” Alfred asks, setting a tray with cookies and tea on the side-table closest to John. 

“I don't know,” John answers. “I will ask him later.” 

“Very well,” Alfred says. 

“Alfred?” 

“Yes, Master John?” 

“Will Bruce be home tonight?” John asks. Bruce always comes home in the morning hours now and even John knows he checks on them, sometimes he can hear Bruce outside their door, it seems like they hardly see him anymore. 

“Surely for breakfast,” Alfred answers. 

John nods. Maybe he will stay up and wait for Bruce then. 

~+~  
“I wanted to talk to you, Bruce,” John says softly. 

Bruce pauses in stripping off the suit. “I didn't hear you.” 

“I learned some skills from Jason,” John admits. He's seen Jason, and he picks up things easily, always had. 

“I see.” Bruce takes of the cowl and looks at it for a second, like he doesn't know what it is. Or why he's doing this anymore. 

“Jason isn't Robin anymore,” John says. He's sure Bruce knows that. Knows that Jason is going by Red Hood now – for reasons that only make sense to Jason. 

“I know,” Bruce puts the suit away and doesn't turn. John can only see him in profile. “What do you want to talk about?” 

“You, me, Jason,” John says. “Not necessary in that order.” 

“I don't think the order matters much. Isn't it all the same?” Bruce asks. 

“Maybe. You haven't talked to him since he left, Bruce,” John says. “And you're out until morning every night and you're barely home or you're sleeping or working down here when you are. You lock your bedroom door,” he adds quietly. That one hurts. He misses being with Bruce. 

“I don't think-” Bruce stops and turns to look at him. He's naked and dirty and John's fingers itch to grab him and make him touch John, maybe even fuck him against the shower wall. Which wouldn't solve anything between them, but it would make them feel better for a little while. “It has been you and Jason.” 

“Ah,” John says. “And now you think it's not okay anymore to have sex with me? Or even kiss me, touch me? That's bullshit. I am having sex with Jason, Bruce.” 

“I know,” Bruce replies. “I can smell him sometimes on you.” 

“And I bet you're getting off to it too. Shutting us out.” John says. “He's not trying to hurt you by being who he is.” 

“He doesn't even want to be Robin anymore, John,” Bruce replies. 

“He can't be your Robin, Bruce. He can't be what he isn't anymore. And you shouldn't want him to,” John says. “Maybe you need another Robin now. Someone -”

“No,” Bruce cuts in sharply. 

“That is not your decisions to make. We need to be able to protect ourselves. We are better than anyone else for the job and you know it. We're faster, more agile, and heal faster too.” 

“We?” Bruce asks. 

“Dick, Tim, and I,” John answers. 

“You want to be – what exactly?” Bruce asks. 

“Your partners. Tim is already helping you a great deal. Here.” 

“He still refuses to wear clothes, John,” Bruce cuts in. 

John nods. “I know, but he is willing to learn how to defend himself. Don't you think he should know that? After everything that happened to Dick?” 

Bruce runs a hand over his head. “Yes, I do. I know he is not going to leave the grounds any time soon, but he will leave, because that is what happens. People leave-”

“Bruce,” John says, standing up and coming closer until he's up in Bruce's personal space, but they're still not touching. “And they come back. Just because Jason had to leave, doesn't mean I will leave you.” 

“How,” Bruce asks, “do you want to make this work?” 

“Determination, will, _love_ ,” John answers. “That is what I do, Bruce. I don't give up on people just because they seem like hopeless cases.” 

“Do you think I'm a lost cause?” Bruce asks. 

“Do you think Jason is?” 

“He's lost to my cause,” Bruce answers. 

“But not to you, not to us. You may think what he does, the lengths he goes too, are extreme, but the same thing can be said about you, Bruce.” 

Bruce nods in acknowledgement. “It's still not right-”

“For _you_ ,” John interrupts. 

“And if I take you as my partner John, if I make you my Robin, will you kill for the greater good?” 

John has been asking himself the same question. Has been thinking about it long and hard. He shakes his head. “I don't intend to.” 

“It's not the same as 'no', John,” Bruce says. 

“No,” John admits, “it's not.” Honesty is all that John can offer and it has to be enough. 

“I'll think about it,” Bruce says. 

“Thank you,” John answers and gets up on his toes to kiss Bruce's lips gently.


	29. Chapter 29

**~five~**  
Bruce looks like he got into a fight. Batman always gets into fights, but Bruce Wayne doesn't. John looks at him long and hard. He smiles. 

“Jason ambushed you on your way home, didn't he?” he asks. 

“You will be a great detective when you grow up, John,” Bruce answers, but there is a smile in his voice. A spark to his eyes. 

“Did he pin you down in the limo?” 

“I can easily overpower him,” Bruce says. 

“Did you let him pin you down? Did you let him kiss you? Bite your lip while he was – what? Help me out here. I could probably tell if you were naked.” John shrugs. He isn't Robin yet, but he has good instincts. Can read body-language very well too. But it's always a bit harder with Bruce, because he wears masks. Can't shake them off at times. 

“How about I show you?” Bruce asks. 

“That will work too.” 

~+~  
“God dammit, Jason. Every time I think you've changed, you leave me a broken body on my metaphorical front-step,” Bruce says. “Like a twisted kind of offering.” 

“It's a reminder,” Jason replies hotly. 

“Of what?” 

“For you to stop hoping I'll change. For you to stop waiting for me to see the error of my ways. I don't sit around and wait for you to do what is necessary either. I do it.” He lights a cigarette and takes a deep drag. John only listens. He isn't going to be their arbitrator tonight or any other night. 

“I do what I think is right.” 

“So do I. That's why no one ever wins this game,” Jason replies. 

“This is not a game!” Bruce says sharply. 

“Don't lie to me, I know you're enjoying it. This is fun for you, when you can hunt down someone, close a case you've been working on for weeks. You wouldn't do it if it were all hardship all the time,” Jason answers and John knows he's right. 

“It' not a game,” Bruce repeats. 

“Call it whatever you want,” Jason says. “It doesn't make it less true,” he adds, flipping his cigarette over the balcony and jumping out of the window. 

~+~  
“Bird-boy,” Jason says, his voice sounds rough and his breath is warm against John's cheek. “Looking good.” 

John leans into Jason's hard body. He can't feel much in the suit, but it's enough to know that Jason is here, to feel his breath and his lips brushing John's skin. 

“Jason,” he whispers. They're alone on the rooftop, but it's better to be safe than sorry. 

Jason slings his arms around John's middle. “I'd love to take you for a spin right now,” he says. 

“Waiting for Batman-”

“Will he take you for a spin?” Jason grins against his ear. It makes John shudder to his core. He misses them, he misses having them both in one house, one room, one bed. Their hands on his skin, their mouths on his. Watching them move in perfect sync. 

“He's going to show me how to fly,” John says. He is a bit terrified, a lot excited about it. 

Jason laughs. “You will be so high on adrenalin after, all you'll want to do is have mad passionate sex the rest of the night.” 

“Come home with me, Jason. Find us after,” John says. 

“Maybe I will. I miss him too, you know?” 

“Yes,” John answers, turning in Jason's lose grip so he can face him. “I want to watch you again. I want you to touch me again while he watches us, I want-”

“You're already horny as fuck,” Jason interrupts laughing and then he's kissing John and all John can do is kiss him back until his lungs scream for air. 

“And who can blame me?” John asks. 

Jason laughs. It's good to hear him laugh John thinks. “I'm tempted to take you right here, right now, but that would probably set B. off big time.” 

“You love to rile him up,” John teases. 

“Hell yeah, I do,” John says and kisses him again, not caring for the shadow that falls over them. 

“Go have fun with the Batman. I'll swing by when I can,” he says just before he's grabbed and spun around and kissed hard by Bruce. John is so ready to just go _home_. 

“Take me home,” he says and his voice sounds desperate and hungry. “Take me home now.” 

Moments like these, when Bruce just can't help himself, are so fucking rare, that he needs to grab every single one of them and hold them close to his chest. 

Bruce lets go of Jason's lips, but not of Jason. The fingers on Jason's hip are a question. 

“Yeah,” Jason says. 

John grins at them. He knows Jason won't stay the night. He knows Bruce won't stop hoping Jason will stop leaving bodies all over the city for him to find, but right now none of this matters. What matters is that they still care, still love each other, and that on nights like this, it is in fact enough.


End file.
